Day 2: Malloween

It’s impossible for me to see any kind of marshmallow confection without thinking of this abomination.

But Russell Stover, that purveyor of cheap drug store candy that is always available as a last-minute backup plan when you’ve forgotten your anniversary, has produced the definitive generic Halloween marshmallow candy. It’s a marshmallow blob, allegedly shaped like a pumpkin, coated in a chocolate-like substance. What’s not to like?

I don’t think these are commonly provided to trick-or-treaters at the door, but I do remember seeing them in the free candy bowl on the Waste Management table at a Southern California recycling fair one October. I’m not certain that anyone’s ever actually purchased one to consume themselves. Anyway, let’s get down to scoring!

Dimension 1: Packaging. Well, this is a little lacking in the spookiness department. The smiling marshmallow looks like something from a Saturday morning kid’s cartoon from the early 1970s. And the smiling pumpkin looks like Nancy Pelosi. I’m just not feeling it. Zero points.

Dimension 2: Appearance of the Treat. Well, if this is what a pumpkin looks like, I think you’ll see a lot of pumpkin shapes in your standard diaper. Zero points.

Dimension 3: Taste. Here I was pleasantly surprised. True, the dark chocolate doesn’t taste any more like chocolate than Nestle’s Quik, but the marshmallow filling is light and fluffy and inoffensive. It would be better if it had a little mint flavoring or something a bit stronger than bland marshmallow, but it wasn’t bad. And the texture was very acceptable indeed. 2 points.

Dimension 4. Value. This is where Russell Stover normally kills it. A one-ounce candy will set you back four bits. Compared to a Reeses, say, that’s downright affordable. 3 points.

Steve’s Sweetoberfest Score: 5 out of 12, which qualifies as a modest TRICK.