Day 3: Aflutter with Peanut Butter

Today we are trying another product from the Russell Stover pantheon: The “Russell Stover Peanut Butter in Milk Chocolate Pumpkin” confection.

Yes it’s very, very similar to Russell Stover’s marshmallow abomination that we reviewed yesterday. But in place of the marshmallow-flavored chemical filling, they injected this “confection” with peanut butter-flavored chemical filling. So let’s get down to the scoring, shall we?

1. Packaging: Russell Stover has to work to keep its rock-bottom price point, and one of the ways they do that is by recycling the artwork from other “candies.” Case in point: This peanut-butter flavored “pumpkin” is packaged in a wrapper that’s almost identical to RS’s marshmallow-flavored “pumpkin.” It’s got the same Nancy Pelosi-faced pumpkin, but instead of a smiling marshmallow next to it, there’s a smiling peanut that’s eerily reminiscent of Planters’ Mr. Peanut. In addition, there’s a superfluous peanut-themed tapeworm escaping from the top of the pumpkin. I suppose the fright occasioned by that image is in keeping with the general vibe of Halloween, but I’d classify it as revolting rather than spooky. Overall, the image is disgusting and childish. No points.

2. Appearance of the Treat: Once again, RS seems to be saving money by using the same mold (you can use either definition of that word) that they used with their marshmallow pumpkin, which we’d noted resembled…how can we put this delicately?…meconium. The sample we received for this particular review seemed to at least vaguely resemble a pumpkin, so we’ll give it a point.

3. Taste. So, when you think of a chocolate crust surrounding an allegedly peanut butter-flavored center, you think of Reese’s, which is clearly the Kleenex or the Xerox of such candies. This RS knock-off is not entirely offensive. If you just jam the whole thing into your mouth and don’t chew, it’s entirely edible. But if you do chew it, you discover that the texture is a bit sandy and the taste is saccharine-sweet. It’s probably acceptable if you’re just pounding your candy haul after a night of trick-or-treating. But if you’re attempting to savor a treat along with your cocktail, as I am, it’s a definite letdown. 1 point.

4. Value. You’re not eating Russell Stovers if you aren’t into value. These “pumpkins” are about 50 cents apiece. Which works out to about 25 cents per zit that you’re cultivating with these candies. That’s good value, right? 3 points.

Steve’s Sweetoberfest Score: 5 out of 12, which qualifies as a modest TRICK.

Mailbag: Loyal reader Chris suggests that I should pair each candy with an appropriate beer. But given the narrow range of beers that I’m willing to consume, every candy would be paired with an imperial stout. Still, it’s a good idea and might feature in my blog next Halloween. Meanwhile, keep those suggestions coming!