OK, so early in this Halloween treat project we tried Jelly Belly’s pumpkins. And we weren’t impressed. But never let it be said that I hold a grudge. So today we give the big JB one more chance. This time we’re review their “Monster Mash” mix.
- Packaging. This 1-ounce box of Jelly Bellies is obviously designed to be handed out to kids on Halloween. It’s compact (less than half the size of pack of cigarettes, which would make another good Halloween treat. The candy cigarettes, I mean). And it’s all tarted up for Halloween. There’s an orange background, a haunted house, and the Jelly Belly man has a cape, fangs, and (for some reason) a top hat. Let’s cite JB’s official marketing text: “This new 1 oz. box is perfect for handing out at Halloween or even receiving as a treat! Good for party favors or even decorations! Fat Free, Gluten Free, Peanut Free, and OU Kosher certified.” And then: “Mr. Jelly Belly is all dressed up and ready for a party on this special seasonal edition of our Flip-Top box, making it unique among our other Halloween items.” OK, I’m sold. I’ll give it two points, to simultaneously signal my appreciation of the Halloween effort, tempered by the decidedly non-Halloweeny concern about gluten and fat when it comes to Halloween treats.
- Appearance of the Treat. Yes. Well. These are Jelly Bellies. Plain, boring, run-of-the-mill Jelly Bellies. There’s not the slightest effort to design anything new for Halloween (eye balls, little skulls, whatever). And they couldn’t even be bothered to put together a simple collection of orange and black beans. No, this is just a plain old mix of random Jelly Bellies. The marketing folks call it “a spooky mix of green apple, caramel corn, jewel orange, wild blackberry, and jewel grape soda.” There’s nothing spooky about any of that. Why not candy corn? Or pumpkin flavor? Or introduce a new “witches brew” flavor. Just try to make some kind of effort to connect this with Halloween. But no. It’s “jewel grape soda.” How spooky. How about no points.
3. Taste of the Treat. C’mon. They’re jelly beans,which are among the least interesting of the candy periodic chart. No points.
4. Value. This one-ounce box set me back a dollar. That works out to….let me get out the caculator…about a dollar an ounce. That would be reasonable for chocolates, maybe. But not for jelly beans. No points.
Steve’s Spooktoberfest Score: 2 out of 12 points, which makes it a nasty TRICK. Any kid receiving these at your door will surely egg your house.
Let’s hope we can find something better for tomorrow….
Chasing Phantoms 