One of my favorite movie scenes comes from Mel Brooks’ Young Frankenstein:
It’s kind of a contrived and corny gag, but it’s no less fun because of that. Plus, the more times you watch Young Frankenstein, the funnier and more lovable it becomes. Try it!
I was reminded of that scene as I drove past this Halloween decoration (?) this morning.
I was heading to the historic town of Folsom (pop: 82,000) to meet a friend for lunch. After a bratwurst on a pretzel bun (which, the tavern wench [her words, not mine] assured me, was their seasonal specialty) I walked across the street to Snooks Chocolate Factory. Here I asked the friendly proprietor what they had in the way of Halloween treats. I was led to a display case with two promising options: one was a chocolate in the shape of a bat, and the other was a small bag of “missing body parts.” Sticking with the theme of the skeletal recycler (who’s clearly missing numerous organs), I went for the missing parts.
Once I got home I then submitted the “missing body parts” to the rigorous testing you’ve come to expect here at Chasing Phantoms. So let’s get into our review.
Conceptual Soundness: As you know, gummies (also called “jelly sweets” for our British friends) are jiggly, sticky, chewy little candies made out of gelatin. The first ones date back to 1864, when a company named Fryers of Lancashire made something called Unclaimed Babies, which during World War I became “Victory Unclaimed Babies.” I am not making this up. I’m guessing these were the precursors to today’s Sour Patch Kids.
Today gummies are frequently manufactured into revolting shapes (worms, spiders, fish…) They are also often powerfully flavored as sour, hot, licorice, fruit, etc. So, they’re a versatile canvas for a Halloween treat. I suppose making them into little “missing body parts” (brains, eyeballs, fingers) is a decent nod to Halloween. And by “decent” I mean 2 points.
Appearance: On the positive side, these are realistically rendered. The eyeballs are bloodshot, the brains have lots of convolutions, the fingers have well-defined cuticles. I think both the molding and coloring processes are top-notch. My only objection is that the fingers are colored red, yellow, and green, which seems like an odd choice. Overall, though, it’s a gross and revolting collection of body parts, which is of course what they were shooting for. 3.5 points.
Taste: Here’s my suggested slogan: “They taste as revolting as they look!” And by “revolting” I don’t mean really sour or spicy like some gummy candies. Instead these taste like very-slightly-sweetened hacky sacks. And they leave behind a lingering sensation like you’ve just been chewing on a wad of wax paper. It makes me wish my “missing body part” was my tongue. No points.
Value: A small 4-oz bag costs $4.50. This isn’t out of the question for a specialty candy shop. But I do think my money would have been better spent on the chocolate bat. I’ll give the value 2 points.
Total Treat Score: 7.5 points/16 points. So they don’t make good for an especially Halloween treat. But maybe they can be repurposed…
Chasing Phantoms 