Cocktail 20: Hop-Frog

And now, while the whole assembly (the apes included) were convulsed with laughter, the jester suddenly uttered a shrill whistle; when the chain flew violently up for about thirty feet — dragging with it the dismayed and struggling ourang-outangs, and leaving them suspended in mid-air between the sky-light and the floor. Hop-Frog, clinging to the chain as it rose, still maintained his relative position in respect to the eight maskers, and still (as if nothing were the matter) continued to thrust his torch down toward them, as though endeavoring to discover who they were.

It’s essentially a tale of vengeance. A king’s jester–who happens to be a “dwarf” (Poe’s term, not mine)–is habitually mistreated. But a line is crossed when the king mistreats the jester’s girlfriend. In that moment, the reader knows that this has become a revenge tale.

The literary fuse burns steadily and methodically, until the trap is sprung at the royal masquerade ball. The king and his seven courtiers are disguised as “ourang-outangs” (orangutans to you and me), having coated themselves with tar and flax, when the jester suddenly has them raised as a group by a chain and set on fire to die a horrible, grisly death as the horrified crowd looks on. The jester and the girl escape to a distant land, presumably to live happily ever after.

The full story is available here.

Now, 151 is virtually undrinkable, and it’s used here strictly for pyrotechnic purposes. For the base alcohol we’ll use a more-reasonable 80 proof spirit. Meanwhile, the centerpiece of this drink will be 8 immolating ourang-outangs. For these, I’ve substituted gummy bears. This is because (1) ourang-outangs are hard to find in edible candy form, and (2) the gummies kind of sparkle when they burn. (Some of you may have watched the famous “screaming gummy bear” at a science demonstration in elementary school. Seriously–it’s a thing.)

The main conceit here is to chain together eight gummy bears and light them on fire. Originally, I thought I could just soak them in 151 and that would make them ignitable, but they ended up dissolving before I remembered to take them out of the rum. Still, the resulting thick emulsion didn’t taste bad, so I decided to intentionally dissolve a few gummy bears into the base spirit. They lend a sweet, quasi-fruity taste to the rum, sort of like your grandma’s annual Christmas fruitcake that you’ve never eaten. 

So, here are the steps: 

1. Make the garnish. You want to “chain” together 8 gummy bears to represent the king and his 7 courtiers dressed as orangutans. I tried to thread a length of ball chain from a keychain through the gummy bears, but I got nowhere. So I turned to a length of thin but stiff wire, which easily slid through each gummy bear. Connect the “chain” into a loop, which mimics the setup in the Poe story.
2. Make the base spirit. Dissolve approximately five gummy bears into 2 ounces of Bacardi rum. This might be an overnight task. Stir occasionally. And keep it refrigerated.
3. Add the three juices (pre-chilled) to the base spirit, and stir well. Pour the mix into a coupe glass. 
4. Balance a metal or other nonflammable bar spoon across the rim of the coupe glass. Drape the unfortunate orangutans over the spoon.
5. Slowly float a half ounce of 151 on top of the drink.
6. Ignite the 151 with your Zippo.
7. Admire your handiwork for a few seconds, then blow out the blaze.
8. (Optional) Pour the drink down the sink. After two sips it tastes disgusting.