I spent about five years of my squandered early adulthood in Kentucky, about 100 miles from Louisville’s famed and historic Distillery Row. And yet I never went to a bourbon distillery during that time. Years later, I found myself on a trip along the Kentucky Bourbon Trail, and made a stop at a place in downtown Louisville called the Evan Williams Experience–which sounds like a tribute band show at an Indian casino. The EWE is essentially a visitor center, Disney ride, propaganda machine, and boutique distillery for Evan Williams, which claims to be Kentucky’s “oldest licensed distiller.” 

Now, I didn’t know much about bourbon at that time (and, if truth be told, I still don’t), but as I passed through the dioramas of 18th-century distilling techniques, sampled small pours of their bourbon, and was lectured by a hologram of Evan Williams himself, I came to believe that I should become a bourbon drinker. For a short time I drank only Evan Williams bourbon, but over time I was introduced to other brands, and I forgot all about Evan Williams. Such is the tenuousness of my brand loyalty.

But with today’s Advent Spirit I am reunited with Evan. Will he live up to my memory, or will he let me down? Let’s find out.

First, here’s the blurb from their website:

“Our Kentucky Straight Bourbon is full of character and simply done right. Named after Evan Williams, who opened Kentucky’s First Distillery along the banks of the Ohio River in 1783, it’s aged far longer than required by law. The result is a Bourbon that’s smooth, rich, and easy to enjoy.”

OK, that sounds pretty good. Let’s try it.

Appearance: The color reminds me of yellow Paas easter egg dye when it’s first mixed with vinegar. It’s a little brighter than I’d expect from a bourbon. Let’s hope this doesn’t presage a brassy taste.

Aroma: There’s a pleasant mix of the scents of clove, vanilla, and fresh morning dew on pasture grass. 

Taste: I taste lots of citrus. A strong taste of orange peel dominates, with a little lemon and grapefruit. It’s a round, wholesome flavor that keeps you raising the glass for another sip. I taste a little toffee and cinnamon in the background, but it’s really that orange that predominates.

Finish: The finish is warm and satisfying. A sweet dextrose flavor, reminiscent of candy cigarettes, lingers at the end.

Bottom Line: There is something distinctive about this bourbon, and I think it has something to do with that orange peel flavor. It’s a good sipping bourbon, but I would never return to making it my go-to drink.

What do you know about vodka? All I remember from my Russian language class in grad school is that “vodka” means “little water.” And thus it’s supposed to have little if any taste. (My wife makes the same claim about me.) Anyway, because it doesn’t bring a lot of baggage, vodka considered to be a great mixer.

Of course, the “it tastes like water!” slogan poses a problem for distillers trying to stand out. How can you differentiate your product if it tastes like water. Of course, the folks at Fiji Water and Smart Water and countless other tap-water purveyors have managed to find a way.

I checked out their distractingly-fussy, trying-too-hard website, featuring Scandinavian dudes who look like Thor working at the stills, disaffected hipsters smoking giant cigars, and obscure Viking references. Here’s how they describe their vodka:

With this perfect blend of high-quality spirit from France and high quality water from Iceland helix hits the optimal balanced pH of 7.4

This never before made, blend of French spirits and Icelandic water, together creates [sic] the DNA of this ultra premium vodka. This is the inspiration of the name helix, which is the name of the two shapes in a DNA thread.”

So let’s overlook the poor editing and try out the vodka!

Appearance: It’s clear. Like water. Nothing to see here. Literally.

Aroma: There’s a very slight hint of Windex, but otherwise there’s no aroma. Again, I think this is a good thing, consistent with the ideal nature of the spirit.

Taste: Oh. My. God. Where have you been all my life?? I have to admit this is among the smoothest vodkas I’ve tasted. It’s like feathers wrapped in cotton, then floated from a gossamer tether tied to a helium balloon. I don’t know if it’s because of the supposedly “optimal balanced pH of 7.4,” but this vodka gently caresses your tongue with no drama and no empty promise to respect you in the morning. Like any good vodka, you really don’t taste much at all. There’s a very slight sweetness, as though someone dissolved a single grain of sugar in this small bottle. You can detect it, but it doesn’t predominate. And maybe a slight hint of baked bread comes through from that French wheat, but if you notice it at all it’s faint and triggers only pleasant memories of a mom-and-pop bakery in your neighborhood when you were growing up in Greenwich Village. In short, this stuff is a pleasure to drink straight. I could throw back a tumbler of this stuff no problem. But I suspect you’d want to mix it into a cocktail–maybe a Moscow Mule or a Cosmopolitan?

Finish: There’s a tiny hint of burn on the finish, but nothing like the hideous blistering you’d experience from Popov or similar rot-guts. This stuff mainly just leaves you with a warm feeling of Good Will Toward Men. Seriously; it would make a great nightcap!

Bottom Line: I’d call this the vodka of choice for people who don’t like vodka.