Excuse me sir–Do you have a minute to talk about Edgar Allan Poe?
We now bring you the latest Poe News:
First: I have a new Poe book out! It’s a short story titled Poe’s Last Lament, and I’ve submitted it to Baltimore’s Poe Fest for their Saturday “Visiter” Awards competition. Alert readers will recall that my earlier short story, A Dying Wish, was a finalist at last year’s Poe Fest, but I didn’t make top honors. I’m hoping that this year justice will be served and I’ll bring home the medal. This year’s winner will be announced at Poe Fest on the first weekend in October.
But there’s no need to wait that long; you can get your own copy right now! It’s available on Amazon. Note that it’s available both in paperback and as an e-book.
In related news: I was interviewed about the book last month by the Poetastic Two on their Poecast. I’ve embedded the video below:
Finally: This Saturday (March 29) I’ll be reading Edgar Allan Poe’s poem “The Haunted Palace” as part of the Third Annual “Poe-It Like Poe” reading event. The four-hour Poe-a-thon will be livestreamed on YouTube, as various narrators from all across the country read a variety of Poe’s works. The event is sponsored by Poe Unplugged. If you want to catch my dramatic reading, you’ll need to tune in from 9:40 to 9:50 am PDT. After that: Nevermore! (Well, unless they post a recording…which they might…in which case I will post a link on this site.)
That headline has multiple meanings for today’s post.
First, just to get this out of the way, I did not receive the Saturday ‘Visiter’ Award last night at Poe Fest’s Black Cat Ball. But I’m pleased to report the award went to a worthy recipient: Sherrill Joseph has been writing a book series aimed at a youth audience that features a group of young investigators that evokes the Hardy Boys. The fifth book of her series is centered on Edgar Allan Poe, and it garnered the award. I spent much of the day yesterday with Sherrill and her daughter Nicole, and I couldn’t be more pleased that she won.
Sherrill and I promoting our SVA-nominated publications at Poe Fest.
So, before we move on to the Treat of the Day, permit me to share a few photos from last night’s Black Cat Ball.
I’ve never felt so short.
Sherrill and I with Vincent Price’s daughter, Victoria (center).
Four of the authors at the Saturday ‘Visiter’ Awards: AA Rubin, Sherrill Joseph, yours truly, and Holly Knightley.
Now that’s a cake!
OK, now let’s move from one not-a-slam-dunk to another.
Alas, the Spider Donut has crawled off Dunkin’s menu. The only “fall treat” they had on offer was a Pumpkin Muffin. Resignedly, I took the muffin and walked back to the hotel lobby to conduct this review.
Conceptual Soundness: C’mon. It’s an unadorned pumpkin muffin. It’s not a complicated concept, but neither is it especially interesting. 2 points.
Appearance of the Treat: Unlike the Starbucks muffin that I reviewed a few days ago, this is deeply cracked and misshapen. It looks like the unholy spawn of a bear claw and a Soufflé. The color is reasonably pumpkin-y, but I suspect the presence of food coloring. There’s no cream cheese or pepitas or anything to make this muffin special. They couldn’t even be bothered to use a seasonally-appropriate orange muffin cup. 1 point.
Taste: The taste is actually pretty good. There’s a slight pumpkin flavor, and it’s sweet, but not to the point of cloying. Unlike some grocery store muffins, this has no artificial or off taste.
The cake is very moist, to the point of being almost soggy. It would have benefited from another couple of minutes in the oven. The top has none of that slight crusting that I find so satisfying to bite through. Instead, the whole muffin just kind of collapses on contact. But then, somehow, each bite of this overly moist muffin ends with a dry, desiccated, crumbly finish. It seems to defy the laws of baking physics.
Post-snacking detritus.
Overall, despite the decent taste, the eating experience is fatally compromised. The mouthfeel just doesn’t work, and the unadorned cake is so homogeneous that you’re sick of it by the time you finish. This is why breakfast cereals have crunch berries or marshmallow moons or whatever. 1 point.
Value: I paid $2.75 for this is downtown Baltimore. The price compares favorably to the Starbucks cream cheese muffin ($3.95). But you’ll recall that was a delicious treat; this is not. I’ll score the value at 2 points.
Total Treat Score: 6/16 points.
Now it’s time to leave Baltimore and say goodbye to Poe Fest. Tomorrow our seasonal treat focus will shift to Halloween candy.
I’ve been trying to think of way to casually mention that I was (sort of) talking to Vincent Price’s daughter last night. Something like, “As I was saying to Victoria last night over dinner…” But it would be stretching the truth too much, even for me. The fact is that the good people at Poe Fest had asked attendees to send in questions for the interviewer to ask Victoria Price at last night’s screening of her father’s movie, The Masque of the Red Death. My question was among those that were used. So, in a way, I asked her a question and she answered it.
Victoria Price, answering my trenchant questions.
The movie itself I can’t really recommend to anyone but a Poe or Price completist. It’s a heavily padded and reworked version of Poe’s short story, and it’s unusually lurid and garish and heavy-handed in depicting Prince Prospero’s Satan-loving heart. But it was fun nevertheless, and the event was held in an impressive space that started out as Baltimore’s Eutaw Savings Bank in 1887. And they had it all dressed up for the occasion.
Masque of the Persimmon Death?
Thoughtful table decorations.
I also have to give a shout-out to Stephanie, one of the attendees who dressed up as The Red Death.
If you’ve seen the movie, then you’re impressed by the verisimilitude of this costume.
Anyway, it was a great event and my hat’s off to the Poe Fest organizers.
But let’s move on to the Treat of the Day. And for that, Iet’s recall the Spice Girls. They were ubiquitous in the long-since-passed Clinton era. They had albums, concert tours, even movies. Did you know they were the most popular “girl group” (their term, not mine) of all time? I think of them every time I hear the term “pumpkin spice,” which to me sounds like the name of a sixth Spice Girl. You know, kind of like the fifth Beatle.
“Too Much” indeed.
Almost exactly 21 years ago (on October 10, 2003 to be exact), Starbucks introduced the pumpkin Spice Latte (PSL). Starbucks makes a big deal about how the PSL was “invented” in their “liquid lab” in Seattle, where mad-scientist researchers ate pumpkin pie and drank espresso and tried to replicate those flavors in a drink. The PSL recipe supposedly involves actual pumpkin puree, as well as sugar, espresso, milk, and of course pumpkin spice, which they define as “a mixture of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cloves, and allspice that is commonly used in pumpkin pie.”
The PSL became an enormous hit, thanks in part to an intense marketing campaign, social media influencers, and Facebook posts. The PSL became Starbucks’ most popular seasonal beverage ever. Naturally, the soaring popularity of the PSL inspired a backlash, and today you can find plenty of haters online. The youngsters dismiss the drink as “basic,” which is about as damning as it comes.
So which is it? Is the PSL a seasonal classic that offers a fun way to immerse yourself in autumn? Or is it a soulless corporate meme that jumped the shark years ago? Chasing Phantoms decided to check it out!
Conceptual Soundness. It’s admittedly a good concept. Let’s combine the sensory experience of eating pumpkin pie with the taste and caffeine kick of espresso. What’s not to like? 4 points.
Appearance of the Treat: As with my “seasonal drink” at Dutch Bros, the PSL drops the ball by not using a festive cup. The drink looks like any other. Boring, and an obvious missed opportunity for a drink that Starbucks (and many others) consider iconic. No points.
Equivalent of a brown paper bag.
Taste: I have to say: I don’t see what all the fuss is about. It seems to just be a latte with some sweetener. I detect a slight note of caramel, but I don’t taste any spice. Which is problematic for something called a Pumpkin Spice Latte.
The drink comes across as quite “flat.” There’s no texture, and it even seems a little watery, as though they used nonfat milk. (Note: I simply asked the barista for a pumpkin spice latte; no directions were given nor questions asked about type of milk, adding whipped cream, etc. This is the “standard” version.)
More than anything, it seemed as though something was missing. It was lacking in spice, lacking in mouthfeel, and it even seemed to be lacking in espresso. At least it wasn’t cloyingly sweet, and there are no off tastes. But overall this is a nothing burger. 1 point.
Value: I paid the odd amount of $6.84 for a grande. I know coffee is getting expensive, but that seems outrageous for such an uninteresting drink. 1 point.
Total Treat Score: 6 points.
Now it’s time for me to get back to Poe Fest. Tonight is the Big Reveal of the Saturday ‘Visiter’ Award winners! If your interested, below is a short discussion of my entry.
I have arrived in Charm City for Poe Fest. To refresh your memory, I am here because my short story, “A Dying Wish,” has been selected as a finalist for the Poe Festival’s Saturday ‘Visiter’ Awards. The winners will be announced tomorrow night at the sumptuous Black Cat Ball. Stay tuned for updates.
I’ve performed some light editing on my story since it appeared in serialized form last year, had it typeset, and had it printed for distribution at Poe Fest. I’d be happy to send a copy to interested readers of this blog as well; just drop me an email. The story is also available at the Kindle store for 99 cents, if that’s how you prefer to do your reading. Here’s the link.
Tonight at Poe Fest we’re going to watch a special screening of the 1964 adaptation of Poe’s masterpiece, The Masque of the Red Death. The film stars Vincent Price and is directed by Roger Corman. Vincent Price’s daughter–Victoria Price–will be there to introduce the film. Notably and confusingly, her Wikipedia page says “Although Victoria is the daughter of a horror icon, she is not a fan of horror films, but she is a fan of horror film fans.” This should be interesting…
Meanwhile, let’s turn to our Seasonal Treat Review. Today’s entry is a fall classic: the Starbucks pumpkin cream cheese muffin.
Conceptual Soundness: As I said, this is a classic It’s essentially pumpkin bread in muffin form, with a generous dollop of cream cheese baked right in. Here’s how Starbucks describes it: “A spiced pumpkin muffin topped with sweet cream-cheese filling and a sprinkling of chopped, spiced pepitas.” Pepitas, by the way, are basically pumpkin seeds. (I had to look it up.) Anyway, this sounds like a winner. 4 points!
Appearance of the treat. This is an attractive muffin, if I may say so. It’s baked to perfection, with that golden brown color that you associate with pumpkin bread pulled straight from the oven. The top of the muffin generously spills over the paper-cup-constrained base. (Insert obvious joke about middle-age spread here.) A caldera on the summit of this muffin is filled with luscious cream cheese, and the whole thing is sprinkled with “pepitas” (though they look suspiciously like rolled oats). The paper muffin cup is orange, which is seasonally appropriate. All that’s missing is a cute little plastic muffin topper in the shape of a pumpkin or a black cat. I give the appearance of this treat 3.5 points.
Beau idéal
Taste. In a word, delicious. The cake is moist, delivering a perfect mouthfeel that stands up to the cream cheese. The pepitas lend a (slightly) crunchy, salty, and savory flair that complements the moist and sweet cake. The cream cheese filling is rich and flavorful; it’s a far cry from the cloying, fake cream cheese that is mindlessly troweled onto a grocery store sheet cake. The proportions of the component ingredients are pleasing, and the size of this muffin is enough to satisfy during the long stretch between lunch and dinner. Plus, at 350 calories, this won’t unduly exacerbate your muffin top. 4 points.
Value: This cost me $3.95, which seems about right for what it is. Certainly it’s far better than Starbucks’ raccoon pop, which is a quarter the size and costs the same amount. 3 stars.
October is my favorite month, for a number of reasons–the change in weather, the availability of darker and heavier beers on tap, and of course the approach of Halloween. Somehow all three of those come into play at the annual Poe Fest in Baltimore. The two-day festival is always held on the weekend closest to October 7, which of course is the date Poe died in Baltimore, under mysterious circumstances, in 1849. This year therefore marks the 175th anniversary of Poe’s death. Astute readers will recall I visited Poe Fest in 2019, and I’m returning this year for a very special reason. Let me explain:
Remember the story (“A Dying Wish”) I presented in serial form as part of last year’s October blog posts? I’m pleased to report that it’s been nominated as a finalist in Poe Fest’s literary contest called The Saturday ‘Visiter’ Awards. So I will be attending the Festival, where the winner of the contest will be revealed at the Black Cat Ball on the night of October 5. I will of course report on the outcome, along with photos, the next day.
Meanwhile, as has become our tradition here at Chasing Phantoms, we’ll be making daily Halloween-themed posts throughout the month of October. This year we’re bringing back a fan favorite: Daily reviews of seasonal treats.
Just part of the day’s work here at Chasing Phantoms.
Now, I’m aware there’s been some controversy over how we’ve defined “seasonal treats” in the past. This year we’ll be expanding the concept to its breaking point, like a Nerd Rope that’s stretched until it snaps and scatters little Nerd candies all over the carpet.
So let me be perfectly clear: We are defining “seasonal treats” as any nutritionally-suspect foodstuffs traditionally associated with the month of October. Specifically, we will be reviewing treats in four categories, with (roughly) a week devoted to each category.
Week 1: Seasonal offerings from chain coffee shops (Starbucks, etc)
Week 2: Halloween candy
Week 3: Seasonal offerings from ice cream and donut chains (BR, Winchell’s)
Week 4: Seasonal alcoholic beverages
Yes, we here at Chasing Phantoms are willing to conduct this research for the benefit and edification of our loyal readership. Think of us as a Halloween-themed version of Consumer Reports, just without the standards or credibility.
The fun kicks off tomorrow. Be sure to share the news with your friends!
Chasing Phantoms 