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2025 Advent cocktails · Uncategorized

Advent Spirits Day 18: Boone’s Bourbon

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Have you ever heard of Tyler Boone? Neither had I, but he’s a singer-songwriter of roots/Americana music and, more importantly for our purposes, he’s the founder of a company called Boone’s Bourbon. Now, it would be fair to ask what kind of credentials he brings to the distilling business, and it seems like the answer is “not much.” But that really doesn’t matter, because he isn’t responsible for distilling the stuff. He has that done by a place called Striped Pig Distillery in Charleston, SC. And that’s fine. But it does make one wonder what’s the difference between Boone’s Bourbon and Striped Pig Bourbon. With any luck, we’ll sample some Striped Pig before Advent is over.

There’s a couple of other points to note about Boone’s Bourbon. First, it’s quite strong (117 proof). Most of the other boubons we’ve tasted clock in between 80 and 86 proof. Second, it’s only aged for about 6 months. (They don’t highlight this fact; instead, they say it is “aged to perfection.”) The combination of high alcohol and short aging doesn’t strike me as promising. But there’s only one way to find out…

Appearance: It seems light for a bourbon. It’s a pale yellow, like an uncarbonated Corona beer.

Aroma: There’s not much nose on this at all. I detect a slight whiff of a spent match, backed by a hint of Windex.

Taste: Whoa. That’s definitely high-alcohol. And the alcohol is actually a bit overpowering. But there is some oak on the palate, despite the short time in the barrel. There’s also some toffee and grape seed. But I’d be lying if I didn’t emphasize that the predominant taste is the high-VOC blast of alcohol.

Finish: There’s a lingering burn on the front of the tongue. There’s also a darkening at the edges of your field of vision, but I’m hoping that’s a temporary side effect.

Bottom Line: If you want to get wasted, this is the bourbon for you. But if you are looking for any something that’s actually pleasant to sip, I’d point you towards bourbons that have been aged for at least a few years.

2025 Advent cocktails · Uncategorized

Advent Spirits Day 17: Big Horn Bourbon Whiskey

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It’s an odd-numbered day, so it must be time for another bourbon…

Today we have something called Big Horn Bourbon Whiskey. The last two words seem a little redundant; they remind me of the irritating phrase “cash money.” Or “50 percent off discount.” Or “a Cadillac car.” You get my point.

Anyway, this Big Horn Bourbon (Whiskey) comes from a place called Willie’s Distillery, in Ennis, Montana. None of that sounds reassuring. The bourbon has claimed a few awards, which are featured prominently on the website. But they were received a decade ago; what have you done for me lately? Here’s their sales pitch:

“Bighorn Bourbon is a superior blend of fine bourbons of varying ages. [Editor’s note: I take this to mean most of the component spirits are younger than my unborn grandson.] Named for the majestic Rocky Mountain Bighorn Ram, this smooth spirit is unbeatable on the rocks but also mixes perfectly in your favorite whiskey cocktail or in one of our signature drinks below.”

And so, with trepidation, let’s do our tasting.

Appearance: It’s lighter than most bourbons we’ve tasted so far, perhaps owing to the (presumably) short time in the barrel. I’d say it’s the color of your standard commercial jet fuel.

Aroma: Inoffensive, even pleasant. It’s the smell of unseasoned microwave popcorn doused with lots of olive oil.

Taste: All together now: “Steve was right.” This stuff is way too young to be a proper bourbon. It tastes like moonshine. There’s no depth, no character. Just a lot of corn flavor, with an alcohol burn.

Finish: Your esophagus will be. Finished, that is.

Bottom Line: Some of you may assume I’m making this sound worse than it is for dramatic effect. And you would be wrong.

2025 Advent cocktails · Uncategorized

Advent Spirits Day 14: Blue Ice Potato Vodka

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OK, this almost sounds like a parody of a modern vodka. It’s potato vodka from–where else?–Idaho. And the key marketing points are that it’s low-calorie, gluten-free, and non-GMO. The only thing missing is any discussion of taste!

Let’s see how they describe their product:

“America’s finest potato vodka can only come from one place—Idaho. The home of the luscious Russet Burbank potato and the birthplace of Blue Ice Vodka. Idaho is where the people behind our brand come from and live, where our natural ingredients are sourced and where our product is crafted. Perfect for cocktails under 100 calories, with only 64 calories per ounce serving.”

So, again, it sounds like they’re focused on everything but the taste. That’s where this blog comes in. Let’s see what we can discover…

Appearance: It looks like nothing. It’s completely clear.

Aroma: It smells like nothing. Seriously. This is the Sgt Schultz of spirits; “I see nothing! I smell nothing!”

Taste: It tastes like almost nothing. The taste, such as it is, is pretty subtle. There’s some French fry on the palate, and a little au gratin in the background. OK, that’s just a lame joke. It tastes like very smooth vodka, which is to say, it doesn’t taste like much. It’s main job is just to deliver 40 percent alcohol.

Finish: Exceptionally smooth. There’s none of that burn that you get from the cheap-o vodkas. It doesn’t leave you wanting more, but it doesn’t leave you running for a chaser, either.

Bottom Line: This would probably be a good vodka for a mixed drink. It’s almost invisible in terms of appearance and aroma and taste and finish. My local Total Wine has it for 19 bucks. So, why not?

2025 Advent cocktails · Uncategorized

Advent Spirits Day 6: Camarena Reposado Tequila

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As every schoolchild knows, tequila is made from the blue agave plant. It’s kind of a brutal process: the agave plant’s “heart” is cut from it, boiled, and then stomped on to release the juice. (I went through a similar process when my girlfriend Susie broke up with me in high school.) It’s then fermented and (sometimes) aged in oak barrels. But the “aging” is more of a brief pause on the way to the store, rather than the mellowing-for-years-in-a-dark-warehouse that we associate with whiskey. Indeed, over half of all tequila produced is not aged at all, instead going directly into a bottle and being deemed “Blanco.” In (slight) contrast, “Reposado” tequila is aged for 2-11 months, and the “old” stuff (“Añejo”) has been aged for at year or more.

Today we’re trying a Reposado tequila. This one supposedly comes from Familia Camarena, which sounds like a homey family-run business in the Mexican countryside. But it’s actually owned by the cheap-wine behemoth Gallo. Be that as it may, this is 100 percent agave tequila (you’re only required to use 51 percent agave). On the other hand, they only age it for the bare minimum of 60 days.

Here’s the blurb from their website:

“Aged 60 days in Tennessee Whiskey barrels, Camarena Reposado balances natural agave sweetness with soft vanilla and caramel notes. Reach for Reposado the next time you’re in the mood for a bold and smooth cocktail.”

OK, that’s not much to go on. Let’s pour some and see if it’s any good.

Appearance: Even though this has been aged for (barely) two months, this tequila hasn’t developed much color. I would describe it as dishwater, before you even wash any dishes in it.

Aroma: This tequila appears to have no nose at all. It is the snake of tequilas. (Ask a herpetologist to explain that witticism.) Seriously, I can’t smell much of anything from this tequila, except an almost-imperceptible whisper of honeysuckle–and not the flower, but the stem.

Taste: Here’s where Gallo lives up to its reputation. This stuff tastes like lighter fluid. It’s bitter and harsh, though I do notice a little bit of cantaloupe trying to break through. There’s also a hint white pepper and maybe a little Oxalis. Overall, though, this will probably bring back bad memories from your first bender in college.

Finish: The finish is essentially a sensation that your tongue has been run through a meat tenderizer and then dipped in pool acid. Clearly this stuff would benefit from longer aging. Sort of like me.

Bottom Line: A quick Google search tells me you can get a bottle of this stuff for around twenty bucks. If you are drawn to this for the price, you’ll want to only use it in mixed drinks. Which probably means margaritas.

2025 Poe Cocktails · Uncategorized

Cocktail 14: The Masque of the Red Death

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And now was acknowledged the presence of the Red Death. He had come like a thief in the night. And one by one dropped the revellers in the blood-bedewed halls of their revel, and died each in the despairing posture of his fall. And the life of the ebony clock went out with that of the last of the gay. And the flames of the tripods expired. And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all.

The Tale

Poe’s short story “The Masque of the Red Death” was first published in 1842. In essence, it’s a tale about a self-seeking prince’s attempt to sequester himself and a large number of his friends and courtiers in his large castle, away from a fearsome plague that was rife throughout the land. You can guess how well that plan worked out.

The story works on a number of levels. On its face it’s a Gothic tale rich in imagery and Angst and, ultimately, doom. But it also works on an allegorical level, reminding us of the folly of trying to cheat Death. It’s been the subject of many films and plays over the years, most notably the 1964 Roger Corman movie starring Vincent Price. You could do worse than to spend an evening watching it with the lights down and with this cocktail in hand.

The full story is available here.

The Drink

Obviously, the drink has to be red. The “death” part is symbolized by a marshmallow garnish in the shape of a skull. OK, subtlety is not my strong suit.

The red color comes largely from pomegranate juice. I added some muddled blackberries (which darken the color a bit) and some mint (which prevents the drink from becoming too heavy). 

Ingredients:

1-½ oz. white rum

½ cup pomegranate juice (chilled)

A small handful of blackberries

A few mint leaves

For the skull:

1 regular marshmallow and one mini marshmallow

Black icing and/or black jelly beans

First you gotta make your skull. (That would make a good bumper sticker.) Use a standard, regulation marshmallow for this, and add eye sockets and a nose hole. Use your own instincts here. You can use either small, black jelly beans or icing for these.Then dab the top of a mini marshmallow with black icing, and stick it on the bottom of the regular marshmallow to serve as the jaw. Add a little icing where the two marshmallows meet to represent the mouth.

Set aside your skull (another bumper sticker candidate) and muddle the blackberries and mint leaves in a cocktail shaker. Add rum and chilled pomegranate juice. Shake it up. Then remove the top and pour the un-strained mixture into a wine glass. (I suppose you could strain it if you don’t want bits of blackberry and mint leaves in your drink, but I like the added texture.) Add the skull as a garnish, perhaps at the end of a straw, a cocktail pick, or a catheter…whatever you have around should work.

This drink is already pretty sweet, but you can add a little simple syrup if you don’t like the slight tartness of the pomegranate juice. You might want to affect a Prince Prospero pose, laughing carelessly at the latest disaster broadcast on the evening news as you throw a few of these back in your gated McMansion.

Poe-script

Despite the plot’s central reliance on the idea of a fatal plague called Red Death, there is no such disease. So, you can at least rest a little easier knowing that.