Green River UT – Chasing Phantoms

This morning I checked out of the Jailhouse Hotel early. I returned my hilariously-labeled “cell key” to the “warden” at the reception desk.

While I waited for the warden to finish processing my paperwork I glanced around the lobby and spotted this blast from the past:

*Is anyone old enough to remember these?*

Eventually I was liberated from the Jailhouse and back in my car. On my way out of Ely I spied a sign for the “Ward Charcoal Ovens.” It looked like a minor detour on a dirt road, so I followed the sign. I’m glad I did. After a few dusty miles I encountered a collection of enormous, well-preserved, 19th-century ovens that had been used for making charcoal. Standing about 30 feet high, these are gigantic, otherworldly artifacts in the middle of nowhere.

The ovens were used to transform pinion pine and juniper into charcoal, which in turn was used to fire the smelters that melted ore during Nevada’s silver rush in the 1870s. These ovens were only used for a few years until the silver ran out, yet they’ve been standing for about a century and a half. I was impressed by how well-preserved they are. Not a speck of graffiti, no trash on the ground, and virtually no damage to the stone. (A ranger I talked to informed me that there has been some minor restoration work done to the mortar.)

The ovens (which somehow seem a little creepy to me, even in broad daylight) were a product of the era, when physical challenges (like melting ore) were met with ever-larger infrastructure (bigger locomotives, larger dams, these enormous ovens), rather than, say, intricate technological advances. It’s simultaneously awe-inspiring and incredibly wasteful. About 6 acres of trees would have to be felled each time an oven was filled, and after only a couple of years all the trees in the area had been cut down.

*View from inside an oven. The top hole allows smoke to exit; the arched “window” on the side allows for the insertion of wood.*

So, these ovens were environmentally damaging and obsolete in a few short years. On the positive side, they produce a cool echo effect.

The ovens are also, um, titillating.

Speaking of racks, I came upon this impressive display at a butcher shop just outside Ely:

But to get back to the theme of “land of the giants,” I beheld these enormous soda cans at a gas station in Salina, UT. They actually contain diesel fuel, and so are not quite so unhealthy as you would guess from their labels.

And to round out the Giants theme, this gigantic watermelon slice was sitting in a parking lot in Green River, UT (pop: 850), for no discernible reason.

The watermelon slice is constructed entirely of wood, and a little Internet research reveals that it was built in the 1950s as a parade float of sorts. Remarkably, the watermelon is self-powered, with an engine hidden inside. I managed to sneak a photo through a small porthole (?).

Watermelons seem to figure prominently in the local agriculture, as I saw watermelon vendors set up in several parking lots.

But more interesting to me near Green River was a place called “Jackass Joe’s,” which is a combination gas station and purveyor of all manner of quirky and irreverent stuff. Their specialties seem to be T-shirts (with their own name on them), exotic jerky, and various styles of candy “poo.”

*Jackass Joe decorates in an unexplained alien theme.*

And yet, notwithstanding the fun factor of Jackass Joe’s and the various giant foodstuffs, by far the most impressive part of today’s journey was driving along I-70 through the San Rafael Swell and other geologic formations. It’s simply jaw-dropping. The craggy and stratified shapes are otherworldly, the colors are vivid and varied, and in keeping with our Land of the Giants theme, the scale is enormous. It was almost transformative to drive my little rental car along this narrow ribbon through these formations. Alas, I wasn’t able to take any photos, and more to the point, I realized my little iphone camera couldn’t possibly do the scene justice. So allow me to present a couple of photos taken from the Internet:

*Public domain photo from US Dept of Transportation, showing Interstate 70 snaking through the San Rafael Swell in central Utah.*

*“Swell” photo from Utah Chamber of Commerce.*

This section of Interstate 70 has been called an “engineering marvel,” as it twists over, through, and along these geologic formations, while attempting to minimize disruptions to the landscape. The construction process also unearthed various dinosaur fossils.

I’ve encamped for the night in Moab (pop: 5,400). Tomorrow we will finally arrive at Placerville, CO!

BREW OF THE DAY

The BOTD comes courtesy of Moab Brewery. They have a fairly extensive menu of their own beers. I let the server choose for me, with the only instruction being that “I don’t want a light beer.” She directed me toward the “Export Stout.” Unfortunately, it is not available on tap (i.e., bottle only), and the bottle holds 22 ounces. So this is a commitment.

Unfortunately, it’s a commitment that doesn’t pay off. I was hoping for a rich, thick, malty, high-gravity beer. What I got was something closer to bathwater.

OK, maybe it wasn’t that bad. But it was definitely thin in body, and it had no nose to speak of. It’s very carbonated–maybe over-carbonated. The flavor tastes of burned coffee (like when the pot has been sitting on the heating element at the truck stop for a few hours) and something slightly vegetative, like maybe moldy alfalfa. Deep in the back of your nasal passages you get a slight sense of Volatile Organic Compounds, reminiscent of Testor’s model glue. The finish reminds me of Crayola crayons.

I’m afraid I can only give it 1 star. But I’ll give four stars to the most excellent brewery pretzel that paired with it.

Editor’s note: Given limited travel opportunities these days, I decided each Thursday to post travel stories I’d written prior to starting this blog. The following is from a cross-country trip I made along the length of US 50 in the spring of 2018. I hope you might vicariously enjoy this trip while we’re all hunkering down at home. Because this is a longer trip (a week and a half), I’m going to post each of the daily entries over each of the next 10 days.

I set out this morning around 6:30 am. I stopped at the Green River Coffee Company (in Green River, Utah), which was just half a mile from my motel. The place was empty, but I heard someone rustling in the back kitchen. Eventually a lanky woman in her early 30s emerged, looking very much like a hippie from 1969. She was cheerful, and said “If you want coffee or breakfast” [why else would I have come there??] “you’ll have to wait a few minutes while my equipment wakes up.” I assured her I was in no hurry, and observed that it was indeed still early. “I must be your first customer” I astutely noted. The woman, whose name turned out to be Becky, explained to me that the place doesn’t actually open until 7, but she gets in at 6:30 to “wake up” her equipment. “I used to get here at 5:30, in order to do my online homework using the shop’s wifi. But now I can get internet service on my phone, so I do my homework in the morning before I leave.” It turns out she’s taking an online program through Oxford (supposedly the Oxford) in English literature. And she’s going to take an in-person class in England next summer. “I’m hoping to move there permanently.” I asked what would happen to the Green River Coffee Company. Does she own it? “No, I’m just the Coffee Wench.” Thanks for the coffee. Gotta go…

Green River Cafe. Note the equipment waking up.

US 50 is still part of I-70 heading east out of Green River, so the drive to the Colorado border was pretty fast and uneventful. Shortly after entering Colorado, I came to Grand Junction, where 50 once again breaks off from I-70. I was back on the familiar, undivided, quiet road that is US 50. It was like reuniting with an old friend. The road began twisting and climbing as I moved up into the Rockies, and I admit that there were moments when I questioned whether the Yaris was up to the task. I became especially nervous as I approached Monarch Pass (elevation: 11,312 feet) where there was even some snow on the ground. Somehow we managed to get over the hump, which, incidentally, is the Continental Divide. I know that doesn’t make the pass any harder to cross, but there’s something notable about crossing the Divide. It makes one feel like they’re leaving the West. Which I guess I was.

“On top of the world, Ma!” (Edward G. Robinson)

A short time later I came into the town of Salida (which the locals pronounce “suh-LIE-duh), and stopped at Soulcraft Brewing for a lunch stop. I had the Green Chile Ale, which was just the ticket on a warm day. I asked the bartender about food, and she directed me to the “food truck” outside next to the patio. This “food truck” is a “truck” the way that a mobile home is “mobile.” The food truck was really just a trailer, permanently built in place, and when I asked the gray-haired cook/owner about it she told me “this thing never moves. I don’t even have a truck that could move it.” I suspect Soulcraft is getting around some kind of restaurant license by calling this thing a “truck.” Anyway, the “truck” owner told me that this was now her restaurant — she used to own a regular brick and mortar restaurant in Denver, but then somehow she became the dean of a university. As one does. I asked her which university, and she muttered something about an online university. Somehow this didn’t quite pan out for her, so she recently quit the academic life and bought this “food truck.” I’ll say this much for her though: She makes a delicious homemade pasta dish. I had it with my beer, sitting on the patio in the sunshine. You really can’t beat that.

Green Chile Ale, with rootbound “food truck” in the background.

I got back onto US 50, with the Arkansas River and a small railroad line stretching along on my right. It was a very pretty and pleasant drive. Now, for the most part, this trip has not been about tacky, kitchy tourist attractions. Admittedly, I’ve made that the focus of some prior trips with Ian, such as our Route 66 trip. But this US 50 trip is meant to experience a more authentic part of America. I did slip once today, though, when I saw this giant beetle beckoning me to an insect museum. How could I say no??

In the mid-afternoon I hit Pueblo, Colorado, which marks the end of my US 50 journey for today. Upon arriving in Pueblo, I took a 2-hour detour up the interstate to see my old friend Detlef Kurpanek (yes, that’s his real name). Detlef and I were friends in middle school and high school, back in the 1970s. We both had an interest in trains, each had a model railroad, and we’d ride our bikes 10 miles to San Jose to watch the commuter trains come in from San Francisco. Detlef has been living with his wife Nancy in Aurora, CO for a couple of decades now. I’m staying at his house tonight, and I’ll return to US 50 tomorrow afternoon. I’m planning to make to the middle of Kansas tomorrow.

Tag: Green River UT

Land of the Giants

Day 3: Utah and Colorado