Stepdad’s in Sacramento, CA
You’ve met my friend Bill in these posts before. He’s the one with a 1941 Studebaker Commander that he discovered rotting away in a barn many years ago. I’m happy to report the car is now fully road-worthy and looking like a million bucks…which, as every owner of a classic car knows, eventually becomes the price of restoring and maintaining one. Anyway, here’s a clip of the beast on the road:
Bill and I regularly get together in Sacramento to do a little car work and then go out for a burger and a beer. And many times we would go to a place near his house called “Dad’s Kitchen.” Dad’s was known for its comfort food, including a disgustingly-indulgent “Dad’s Burger” that was featured on Drive-In, Diners, and Dives. Checkitout:
Anyway, now that I’ve pumped the place up, it’s my sad duty to report that it closed in 2024, after 14 wonderful years. And yet, in its stead, in the same building, there is now a new restaurant called “Stepdad’s.” So after a morning of adjusting brakes on the Commander, Bill and I recently went to check it the new place. And I, naturally, ordered their “Warm Pretzel.”
When the server brought me my pretzel, she proudly placed it in front of me and said “See? It looks like a frog’s face!” Like somehow that’s the gold standard for a pub pretzel. And then, using the unnaturally chirpy voice of a teacher showing a picture book to a three-year-old, she went on to point out the smile (in the form of a long crack along the lower part of the pretzel) and eyes (created by the two small containers of “English Cheddar Sauce” and Dijon mustard).
So sure, it’s a fun presentation. But haven’t we all learned by this point that a frog’s face does not guarantee a tasty pretzel? To be fair, the pretzel was baked perfectly and it had a good consistency. But somehow it was quite bland. It was lacking that perfect blend of flavors–maltiness, sweetness, maybe a little umami–that distinguishes a pretzel from a hunk of bread. And in a transparent effort to give this thing some flavor, they overdid the salt.
And then we come to strike three: The “English cheddar sauce.” They don’t even pretend to call it beer cheese. This is essentially a cheese-flavored dressing. It does not complement the pretzel. It’s just another sad attempt at making up for the pretzel’s lack of flavor.
Now, I should acknowledge that the rest of Stepdad’s food is actually quite good. I just think Stepdad’s, like so many restaurants, has fallen victim to the myth that a Bavarian pretzel is a simple dish to pull off. If this month’s blogs are able to bust that myth, they will have done their job.
Two stars.
PRETZEL TRIVIA
I know absolutely nothing about modern video games. The last video game I spent any time playing was a Mac-based game called Dark Castle in 1986. It was considered a breakthrough game at the time…but let’s just say it hasn’t aged well. Here, take a look at the short video from actual gameplay:
But I bring this up because there’s a somewhat more modern game called Hitman 3. And rather than try to explain something I don’t understand, I’ll simply give you this excerpt from Wikipedia:
Hitman 3 is a 2021 stealth game developed and published by IO Interactive. … Concluding the story arc started in 2016’s Hitman, the game follows genetically engineered assassin Agent 47 and his allies as they hunt down the leaders of the secretive organization Providence, which controls global affairs and was partially responsible for 47’s creation and upbringing.
As with most games of this nature (I imagine), players get to use lots of weapons. And one of those weapons is, of course, a pretzel. Here’s an actual screenshot of Hitman’s pretzel:
According to the Hitman Wiki, “When thrown at an [non-player character’s] head, [the pretzel] will cause them to fall over, before standing up again.” So, just like in real life, you can’t kill someone with a pretzel, but you can knock them over. Just ask George W. Bush.
