House of Wax

October 20, 2024 steveboilardLeave a comment

So, I was talking to Vincent Price’s daughter the other day…

I just couldn’t resist the name-check, though of course I’m simply referring to Poe Fest in Baltimore, where I managed to corner her for a few minutes.

Anyway, as attentive readers will recall, Victoria Price introduced her father’s 1964 Edgar Allan Poe flick, “The Masque of the Red Death,” at Poe Fest. I can’t say I was overly impressed with the movie, which I found to be lurid, garish, and unsettling. Don’t get me wrong: in general I love Vincent Price and his movies. I just had some uneasiness about “The Masque.”

Then, just a couple of days ago, dedicated reader Sherrill J. tipped me off that Vincent Price’s 1953 classic “House of Wax” was showing last night on MeTV. Now this was a whole different story.

First of all, many movies from the 1950s had an earnestness about them. Color was just becoming a thing, and the Hays code was in full force, simultaneously opening new opportunities and imposing guardrails on filmmakers. Directors and producers had to be clever and innovative to make use of the opportunities and hew to the constraints.

“House of Wax” did a pretty good job of that duality. It’s not a great movie, but it’s atmospheric and entertaining and offers a few fun surprises. But what really pushed the MeTV offering into worthwhile nostalgia was that it was hosted by Svengoolie. For those unfortunate souls among you who are not familiar with him, Svengoolie is a campy, corny “horror host” who follows in the footsteps of the late Bob Wilkins, Elvira, Count Frightenstein, Mr. Lobo, and others. In fact, it’s probably not exactly correct to say that Svengoolie “follows” in their footsteps, since he’s been at it since 1979!

Svengoolie at his “best.”

Speaking of wax: Let’s talk about today’s cocktail! It’s something called “Bite of the Vampire,” and it combines good champagne (the wife scolded me for using the last bottle of Roederer) with Aperol and the contents of one of those little wax bottles you used to get in your Halloween haul. Remember?

*The wax fangs will be explained in a moment.*

Conceptual Soundness: OK, it’s a reddish drink named “Vampire Bite.” That’s a good start. The addition of the Nik-L-Nip contents is interesting, as it connects this drink to Boomer Halloween Nostalgia. And as the pièce de résistance, they have you affix wax fangs to the rim of the glass. I’d say that’s a solid, focused, concept. 4 points.

Appearance: Well, it’s not the blood-red I would have expected from a “Vampire Bite” cocktail. But at least it’s in the general range of reddish. And the wax fangs are a nice touch, connecting both the “vampire” concept and the wax Halloween treat nostalgia. Let’s give it 3 points.

Taste: This isn’t a sophisticated drink. But it’s nostalgic and fun. The artificially-sweetened syrup from the wax bottle really gives it a unique zing. It shows up as a syrupy sweet finish to what would otherwise be an Aperol Spritz. The taste reminds me of a cherry Slurpee, which I used to down regularly in the 1970s. But it’s not too sweet. Although you hardly notice the champagne, it’s doing its job of balancing the wax-bottle syrup. I enjoyed drinking this, and I’ll give it 3.5 points.

*Once you finish the drink, you get to annoy your family members with the wax lips.*

Ease of Preparation: It’s easy to make. Hopefully you have champagne and Aperol on hand. The wax bottles and fangs will obviously require a special trip. I found mine at T.W. Bonkers Toy and Candy Emporium in Placerville. I’m sure you could find them on Amazon as well. But sure, it’s going to be a bit of work to assemble the nostalgia components. Let’s give it 2 points for ease of preparation.

MAIL BAG

Faithful Reader Sara S shared this Candy Corn cartoon from the New Yorker, which riffs on a theme this blog presented in our 2002 treat review.

Tomorrow we start our review of Halloween donuts and ice cream!!

"A Dying WIsh" · 2024 Halloween treats · Halloween

The Least Popular of the Spice Girls

October 5, 2024October 5, 2024 steveboilard2 Comments

I’ve been trying to think of way to casually mention that I was (sort of) talking to Vincent Price’s daughter last night. Something like, “As I was saying to Victoria last night over dinner…” But it would be stretching the truth too much, even for me. The fact is that the good people at Poe Fest had asked attendees to send in questions for the interviewer to ask Victoria Price at last night’s screening of her father’s movie, The Masque of the Red Death. My question was among those that were used. So, in a way, I asked her a question and she answered it.

*Victoria Price, answering my trenchant questions.*

The movie itself I can’t really recommend to anyone but a Poe or Price completist. It’s a heavily padded and reworked version of Poe’s short story, and it’s unusually lurid and garish and heavy-handed in depicting Prince Prospero’s Satan-loving heart. But it was fun nevertheless, and the event was held in an impressive space that started out as Baltimore’s Eutaw Savings Bank in 1887. And they had it all dressed up for the occasion.

I also have to give a shout-out to Stephanie, one of the attendees who dressed up as The Red Death.

*If you’ve seen the movie, then you’re impressed by the verisimilitude of this costume.*

Anyway, it was a great event and my hat’s off to the Poe Fest organizers.

But let’s move on to the Treat of the Day. And for that, Iet’s recall the Spice Girls. They were ubiquitous in the long-since-passed Clinton era. They had albums, concert tours, even movies. Did you know they were the most popular “girl group” (their term, not mine) of all time? I think of them every time I hear the term “pumpkin spice,” which to me sounds like the name of a sixth Spice Girl. You know, kind of like the fifth Beatle.

Almost exactly 21 years ago (on October 10, 2003 to be exact), Starbucks introduced the pumpkin Spice Latte (PSL). Starbucks makes a big deal about how the PSL was “invented” in their “liquid lab” in Seattle, where mad-scientist researchers ate pumpkin pie and drank espresso and tried to replicate those flavors in a drink. The PSL recipe supposedly involves actual pumpkin puree, as well as sugar, espresso, milk, and of course pumpkin spice, which they define as “a mixture of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cloves, and allspice that is commonly used in pumpkin pie.”

The PSL became an enormous hit, thanks in part to an intense marketing campaign, social media influencers, and Facebook posts. The PSL became Starbucks’ most popular seasonal beverage ever. Naturally, the soaring popularity of the PSL inspired a backlash, and today you can find plenty of haters online. The youngsters dismiss the drink as “basic,” which is about as damning as it comes.

So which is it? Is the PSL a seasonal classic that offers a fun way to immerse yourself in autumn? Or is it a soulless corporate meme that jumped the shark years ago? Chasing Phantoms decided to check it out!

Conceptual Soundness. It’s admittedly a good concept. Let’s combine the sensory experience of eating pumpkin pie with the taste and caffeine kick of espresso. What’s not to like? 4 points.

Appearance of the Treat: As with my “seasonal drink” at Dutch Bros, the PSL drops the ball by not using a festive cup. The drink looks like any other. Boring, and an obvious missed opportunity for a drink that Starbucks (and many others) consider iconic. No points.

Taste: I have to say: I don’t see what all the fuss is about. It seems to just be a latte with some sweetener. I detect a slight note of caramel, but I don’t taste any spice. Which is problematic for something called a Pumpkin Spice Latte.

The drink comes across as quite “flat.” There’s no texture, and it even seems a little watery, as though they used nonfat milk. (Note: I simply asked the barista for a pumpkin spice latte; no directions were given nor questions asked about type of milk, adding whipped cream, etc. This is the “standard” version.)

More than anything, it seemed as though something was missing. It was lacking in spice, lacking in mouthfeel, and it even seemed to be lacking in espresso. At least it wasn’t cloyingly sweet, and there are no off tastes. But overall this is a nothing burger. 1 point.

Value: I paid the odd amount of $6.84 for a grande. I know coffee is getting expensive, but that seems outrageous for such an uninteresting drink. 1 point.

Total Treat Score: 6 points.

Now it’s time for me to get back to Poe Fest. Tonight is the Big Reveal of the Saturday ‘Visiter’ Award winners! If your interested, below is a short discussion of my entry.

"A Dying WIsh" · 2024 Halloween treats

Masques and Muffins

October 4, 2024October 4, 2024 steveboilard2 Comments

I have arrived in Charm City for Poe Fest. To refresh your memory, I am here because my short story, “A Dying Wish,” has been selected as a finalist for the Poe Festival’s Saturday ‘Visiter’ Awards. The winners will be announced tomorrow night at the sumptuous Black Cat Ball. Stay tuned for updates.

I’ve performed some light editing on my story since it appeared in serialized form last year, had it typeset, and had it printed for distribution at Poe Fest. I’d be happy to send a copy to interested readers of this blog as well; just drop me an email. The story is also available at the Kindle store for 99 cents, if that’s how you prefer to do your reading. Here’s the link.

Tonight at Poe Fest we’re going to watch a special screening of the 1964 adaptation of Poe’s masterpiece, The Masque of the Red Death. The film stars Vincent Price and is directed by Roger Corman. Vincent Price’s daughter–Victoria Price–will be there to introduce the film. Notably and confusingly, her Wikipedia page says “Although Victoria is the daughter of a horror icon, she is not a fan of horror films, but she is a fan of horror film fans.” This should be interesting…

Meanwhile, let’s turn to our Seasonal Treat Review. Today’s entry is a fall classic: the Starbucks pumpkin cream cheese muffin.

Conceptual Soundness: As I said, this is a classic It’s essentially pumpkin bread in muffin form, with a generous dollop of cream cheese baked right in. Here’s how Starbucks describes it: “A spiced pumpkin muffin topped with sweet cream-cheese filling and a sprinkling of chopped, spiced pepitas.” Pepitas, by the way, are basically pumpkin seeds. (I had to look it up.) Anyway, this sounds like a winner. 4 points!

Appearance of the treat. This is an attractive muffin, if I may say so. It’s baked to perfection, with that golden brown color that you associate with pumpkin bread pulled straight from the oven. The top of the muffin generously spills over the paper-cup-constrained base. (Insert obvious joke about middle-age spread here.) A caldera on the summit of this muffin is filled with luscious cream cheese, and the whole thing is sprinkled with “pepitas” (though they look suspiciously like rolled oats). The paper muffin cup is orange, which is seasonally appropriate. All that’s missing is a cute little plastic muffin topper in the shape of a pumpkin or a black cat. I give the appearance of this treat 3.5 points.

Taste. In a word, delicious. The cake is moist, delivering a perfect mouthfeel that stands up to the cream cheese. The pepitas lend a (slightly) crunchy, salty, and savory flair that complements the moist and sweet cake. The cream cheese filling is rich and flavorful; it’s a far cry from the cloying, fake cream cheese that is mindlessly troweled onto a grocery store sheet cake. The proportions of the component ingredients are pleasing, and the size of this muffin is enough to satisfy during the long stretch between lunch and dinner. Plus, at 350 calories, this won’t unduly exacerbate your muffin top. 4 points.

Value: This cost me $3.95, which seems about right for what it is. Certainly it’s far better than Starbucks’ raccoon pop, which is a quarter the size and costs the same amount. 3 stars.

Total Treat Score: 14.5/16 points.