Pumpkin on a Pike

Today I’m in Bodega Bay (pop: 912), the setting for Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds. And if that isn’t a good Halloween tie-in, I don’t know what is.

Several of the iconic buildings from the movie are still going strong over 60 years later. Checkitout:

Somehow, I managed to get through my cappuccino without having my eyes pecked out, so it’s on to our Treat of the Day:

I happened by one of those independent, upscale candy shops that cling like barnacles to the quaint Main Streets of small, tourism-oriented towns. It was here this pumpkin pop called to me through the window.

This little treat is made by the Mendocino Chocolate Company, and it’s irresistibly adorable. Money was exchanged and moments later I was the proud owner of a pumpkin on a stick.

Conceptual Soundness: This is a white chocolate pumpkin that’s been colored orange and stuck onto a rolled-paper stick. You’ll recall my earlier rant about putting treats on a stick where there’s no logical reason to do so. This is one of those cases. Why couldn’t I just eat the pumpkin candy by hand, as I did with yesterday’s Ghirardelli square? I can’t get behind this creeping stick-iness. Zero points.

Appearance of the Treat: It’s undeniably enchanting. The orange pumpkin head, with well-defined features rendered in chocolate icing, is friendly and slightly quirky. The ribbon is festive, with matching orange jack o’lanterns on a chocolate-brown background. I do now recognize that the stick helps to secure the ribbon, and thus it might not be as superfluous as I initially thought. I’ll give one point back for conceptual soundness. In terms of appearance of the treat, I award the full 4 points.

Taste: Hack! Gag! Never has such a cute candy tasted so revolting. Clearly the “confectioners” (emphasis on the “con” part) decided to pump their “candy” full of wax to aid in the molding process. Eating this pumpkin is reminiscent of eating a candle. I suppose there must be some white chocolate in the pumpkin, just as there must be some worthwhile programming on network TV. But in both cases you need to search for it. While I was gnawing on the edges of the pumpkin the little face seemed to adopt a mocking look, as if to say “who’s the real sucker here?” It would be malpractice for me to award any points for taste. Zero points. In fact, this is so foul, I’m taking back that bonus points I awarded to the stick for supporting the ribbon.

Value: I parted with $2.75 to get this “treat.” Now, to be fair, as a purely visual Halloween prop it’s perfectly delightful. And $2.75 ain’t a bad price if it tasted decent. But it doesn’t. I’ll give it one grudging point.

Total Treat Score: 0 (conceptual soundness) + 4 (appearance) + 1 (stick bonus) + 0 (taste) – 1 (disgust factor) + 1 (value) = 5 points/16 points.