International Daytripping

Those of you who know anything about my sordid past are aware that I did a graduate program in international relations, focusing particularly on relations between the Soviet Union and East Germany. And literally while I was writing my doctoral dissertation, both of those countries ceased to exist. Such is the power of my negative energy.

Much of my graduate study comprised studying things that I should have learned as an undergraduate. Like the map of the world. For example, it wasn’t until grad school that I realized Mauritania looks like it was constructed from Lego bricks.

Anyway, one country that even graduate school didn’t prepare me for is the Republic of Molossia. Molossia is what is termed a “micronation,” It’s a landlocked country with only a couple of acres of land in Nevada and two “enclaves” in California. It boasts a population of 38 (including pets).

Like so many things in Nevada, Molossia began as a young man’s fever dream. Kevin Baugh was just a teenager in 1977, when he and his friend Jim watched the 1959 Peter Sellers movie The Mouse That Roared, in which a tiny European nation declares war on the US in order to be defeated and receive American postwar announced. Why don’t we do that, they asked. Accordingly, they declared the formation of the Grand Republic of Vuldstein, with Kevin as Prime Minister and Jim as the ceremonial king. Alas, they owned no land on which to base their country, and Jim eventually lost interest. Kevin, on the other hand, never gave up on the dream, and in the late 1990s he purchased an acre or two of land about a dozen miles east of Carson City, NV. He dubbed it the Republic of Molossia. Baugh is the elected president, though he readily admits that the election was rigged.

I decided that I should fill in this gap in my graduate education and learn more about Molossia. (Alert readers will recall that I attempted to visit the nation last year, but their customs office was closed.) And so it was that this morning I grabbed my passport and made the two-and-a-half-hour trek that went around Lake Tahoe, across the Nevada state line, and into the Republic of Molossia, where I was personally greeted by the President and First Lady. I’m not making this up.

Naturally, my visit to Molossia required passage through Passport Control. I was relieved that my official US Passport was accepted and stamped by the Molossian authorities.

The nation of Molossia is an interesting entity. It would be easy to write it off as a joke. And yet, I was struck by two things: (1) the earnestness of this endeavor, and (2) the obvious good intentions and self-awareness of the First Couple. Put a pin in that latter point, as I’ll be coming back to it at the end of this post.

The earnestness shows up in many ways. Above all, they open their micro-nation to tourists (such as myself) over a half-dozen times each year, offering two-hour tours completely without cost to the visitor. (There were about 30 of us on today’s tour.) On top of this, they have sponsored a biannual meeting of micro-nations (Microcon), and participate in many local civic activities. Radio Molossia transmits news at least once a month, and the nation has been a major player in an ongoing war with one of the last remaining Warsaw Pact countries, East Germany. (There’s a story behind this, that I may or may not share in another post. If you feel strongly, you can purchase war bonds to support Molossia’s cause.)

Perhaps most impressive, Molossia, which is entirely surrounded by the United States, has remained entirely removed from the ugly partisan sniping that has absorbed the country. Instead, Molossia promotes positive values like world peace, as indicated by its Peace Pole in its Red Square.

In addition, Molossia has constructed a “Friendship Gateway,” which is described thus: “We do not build walls in Molossia, we do not live in fear, we welcome all. We have instead built a gateway – a hole in the wall, so to speak – to symbolize inclusiveness and openness. Molossia’s Friendship Gateway is dedicated to openness, inclusiveness and amity between all peoples!“

That’s not to say that Molossia ignores the need for law and order. Indeed, the country maintains a jail, and relegates the worst of their prisoners to the salt mines. (We visitors were each gifted with a small vial of salt from the mines, assured that the product was “proudly mined by happy political prisoners.”)

The end of my visit, which included some transactions at the Molossia Mercado, left me with a couple of Valora, which, of course, is the currency unit of Molossia. Unlike old-fashioned currencies which are backed by gold or silver or other passé metals, the Valora is backed by chocolate-chip cookie dough. Which is why the Molossian central bank is internationally recognized to be “rolling in dough.” (The First Lady made that comment during our tour.)

Before concluding, allow me to share a few other photos from today:

The Republic of Molossia is on Molassia Standard Time, which is about 31 minutes ahead of Pacific Time.

Posted speed limits are in Imperial Nortons, which, coincidentally, are identical to kilometers. However, the other official unit of distance is the Norton, which is the length of President Baugh’s hand.

Oh, a word about the Molossian flag, which appears in various of the above photos and in the photo immediately below: The blue represents the fair skies over Molossia, the white represents the snow on the distant Sierra mountains, and the green represents springtime in the desert. But most notably, the flag is identical to the flag of Sierra Leone turned upside down. This makes it quite easy to source Molossian flags…

In conclusion, I have to say that this was one of the more delightful visits I’ve made on my many road trips. Here we have a couple of people with a vision that they’ve faithfully translated into brick-and-mortar reality…over the past three decades. Their goal seems to be benign, and their impact upon all they come into contact with appears to be entirely positive. A person could do worse. Perhaps what this world needs is more micronations.

If you’re interested (and you should be), I’d encourage you to book a tour.

CRITTER CORNER

Let’s return now to the (puny) world that is my life: Two of our animals have gained national exposure! First, our Maine Coon (Mr. Bad) was psychoanalyzed on Mike Pesca’s podcast, How To! (That exclamation point is part of the title of the podcast, and not simply a sign of my over-exuberance.) Listen to me getting scolded by a cat expert for locking Mr. Bad in the laundry room: Mr Bad on Pesca

Second, our one-time race horse Kitten makes an appearance in Poe Unplugged’s “Poe It Like Poe Reading Event.” Kitten appears in my reading of Poe’s poem “Eldorado.” Here’s the video:

You can also watch the whole Poe It Like Poe event, which is here.

BEER OF THE DAY

Today’s BOTD comes from Great Basin Brewing Company in Carson City, NV (which is, of course, Nevada’s state capital). Great basin has four (count them!) locations in western Nevada. I got talked into their Cervesa Chilibeso. To be honest, it tastes like every other chili beer that’s out there (Masthead, Cave Creek, etc). It’s brewed with actual jalapenos in a lager base. At 5% ABV, you’re not going to get wasted on this stuff. It’s mostly a novelty drink, to show the world how you can drink jalapeno juice.

This stuff is characterized not so much by heavy spice as a slow burn on the back of your throat. There’s no nose to speak of, and no frothy head. It has the appearance of an Arnold Palmer. It has the color of the yellow Easter egg dye that your mom made by dropping a tablet of Paas into a cup of vinegar.

This stuff has good carbonation and goes down well cold. The first sip really wakes you up. But then you acclimate to the burn, and the flavor profile becomes rather boring. Let’s be honest: This is a gimmick beer. It’s drinkable only because, after a few sips, your taste buds are toast. No one drinks this for the flavor.

Two stars.