Pretzel #4: Edgar Allan Pretzel

So I’m here in Baltimore (pop: 570,000) for PoeFest. It got me wondering why they call this town “Charm City.” Turns out it was part of a deliberate branding campaign by mayor William Donald Schaefer in 1974. Working with a group of PR flacks, he settled on the nickname “Charm City, USA.” Tourists coming to town received a starter charm bracelet, and could collect additional charms by visiting various sites around the city.

The charms are no more, but the nickname seems to have stuck. Which is all well and good, but the folks who put on PoeFest want you to think of Poe when you think of Baltimore. Poe only lived here for about three years, but he wrote several of his most notable works here, and he happened to be passing through town when he died in 1849. What’s more, he’s still here, buried in the churchyard of Westminster Hall. It’s not for nothing that the local football team is named The Ravens.

Anyway, here I am in Baltimore, and because I was feeling a bit peckish around noon yesterday I paid a visit to the Pratt Street Ale House. It’s not far from where Poe had lived–about a mile away, as the raven flies.

The Ale House is situated in a wonderful historic building that dates back to 1888 and for many years was home to the Pratt Furniture Company. It became the Pratt Street Ale House in 2009.

Much of the historic interior features have been preserved, including the brick walls and an antique elevator.

Once I got situated I ordered the Soft Pretzel and a Raven Beer Special Lager. I thought seventeen bucks seemed a bit steep for a pretzel, but it turns out I was paying for two:

Sadly, the pretzel(s) did not match the quality of the setting. The moment I picked one up to take a bite, it broke under its own weight like a desiccated mummy. This pretzel was drier than James Bond’s martini. It was more crumbly than a Costco granola bar. It was…you get the idea.

Seriously, it seemed to me that this pretzel was made with biscuit dough rather than bread flour. And that goes for both the texture and the taste. I tried a small piece without salt or any condiments, and I seriously could not identify any taste at all. It wasn’t just bready, it was as vapid and dry as a week-old Pillsbury biscuit. I suspect that they got the nice brown color by brushing them with butter and sending them straight to the oven, without the benefit of boiling in alkali.

The beer cheese, however…that’s a different matter altogether. It’s delicious! Unlike what’s served in most pubs, this beer cheese actually has an identifiable beer taste. I learned that Pratt Street sources the beer from a local brewery (Oliver Brewing Company) that used to be housed in this very building. The beer imparts a malty, yeasty note to the beer cheese, providing complexity and depth. I think Pratt Street’s beer cheese contains more beer than most beer cheeses, because this is the first time my senses definitely identified strong beer notes. Even better, they did not skimp on the cheese side of the equation. This stuff was flavorful and delightful and frankly addictive. After loading up a few chunks of pretzel with the beer cheese, I ended up just eating the beer cheese straight with my spoon. The pretzel was that superfluous.

The Dijon mustard was OK. It did its job. But I wouldn’t eat it on its own!

Zero stars for the pretzel, 5 stars for the beer cheese, and 3 stars for the mustard. Weighted total: 2.5 stars.

PRETZEL TRIVIA

There are two kinds of Guinness Records: Those that just happen (tallest human, oldest wooden building, heaviest cat) and those that result from the efforts of someone who wants to be in the Guinness Book (the most snails on one’s face for 10 seconds, the most watermelons chopped on one’s stomach in a minute, cycling backwards with a violin. I’m not making these up). (Incidentally, the Guinness people have retired the “heaviest cat” category because cat owners were overfeeding their cats expressly to be in the Guinness book. I’m not making this up, either.)

Anyway, the people of Freeport, Illinois (also known as “Pretzel City USA–see my blog post) set a record in the latter (contrived) category in 2025, when they created “the largest human pretzel image” with 603 people forming the outline of a giant pretzel.

I really don’t see the point, but it seems harmless enough. Unlike overfeeding your cat.