Near the beginning of the month we reviewed two purported treats from Russell Stover: the Dark Chocolate Marshmallow Pumpkin, and the Peanut Butter in Milk Chocolate pumpkin. They each earned a rating of 5, which is in the TRICK category. But recently I discovered the Russell Stover’s pumpkin line extends to a third concoction, which involves candy corn, marshmallow, and white fudge. This seemed intriguing, in the same way that when I was high school we were all intrigued by making “suicides” out of random aggregations of different soda. So I plunked down my dinero at CVS and took home the Russell Stover Candy Corn Marshmallow in White Fudge Pumpkin. I subjected it to my usual rigorous testing, and am now prepared to share with you my findings.

1. Packaging. As you’ll remember, I haven’t been very impressed with the packaging for RS’s suite of pumpkin candies. The cartoon jack o’lantern has a goofy face that suggests indigestion. And the characters in the foreground that are supposed to represent the candy flavor components look like childish scribbles. In this case, however, the image of a smiling candy corn and a smiling marshmallow comes across as somehow more whimsical than stupid. They’ve also added a small, flying bat. Whereas I awarded no points to the other versions, I’ll give this one a point.

2. Appearance of the Treat. Alert readers will recall that I dismissed the other RS “pumpkins’ as resembling excreta. This one, however, benefits from having a color other than brown. In addition, the shape better conforms to that of a classic pumpkin. This is inoffensive. It’s even, dare I say, somewhat appetizing. Two points.

3. Taste. I took a tentative bite of this pumpkin, feeling apprehensive after the last two versions. But as soon as it registered on my tongue, I knew this was a winner. Insert roaring crowd sound here. Seriously, people, this is amazing. The marshmallow center is light and fluffy and almost melts in your mouth. The candy corn flavoring is tinted a pumpkin color (which I thought was a nice touch), and manages to evoke all the good aspects of candy corn without the waxy, gross aspects. But most of all, it’s that white fudge which really makes this treat. It’s sweet without being cloying, and has a creaminess that suffuses your mouth. On top of all of this, it appears that the entire candy is enveloped in a thin white chocolate shell. I vacuumed this treat. I immediately wanted another. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that it contains crack. 3 points.

4. Value. This one-ounce pumpkin set me back a mere 50 cents. What could you buy for two quarters that would give this much satisfaction? 3 points.

Steve’s Sweetoberfest Score: 9 out of 12 points, giving Russell Stover its first solid TREAT of the month! All is forgiven!

While replenishing my supply of Laphroaig at Trader Joe’s (their price is $8 less than Bevmo, FYI) I noticed a bag of “pumpkin tortilla chips.” Now, tortilla chips are not something you normally associate with Halloween, but surely pumpkin chips are suitably evocative of the holiday. Besides, I’m forever looking for a new excuse to pound a bag of chips. So I tossed a bag into my cart with the Laphroaig, transacted business with a bored cashier sporting eyebrow rings purple hair, and went home to conduct my taste test.

1. Packaging. In a word, I’d call the packaging unimaginative. It’s a bag of pumpkin chips, so they show a picture of a bunch of chips, and put the word “pumpkin” prominently at the top. That’s kind of it. To be fair, Trader Joe’s may not be going for the Halloween vibe. But surely that’s an obvious oversight when you’re taking a common staple and turning it into something pumpkin-related. In October. Overall, I have to say this packaging is neither fun nor Halloween-y. I can’t give it any points. 0 points.

2. Appearance of the Treat. The contents of the bag have the shape of classic tortilla chips, probably because they’re essentially classic tortilla chips. They do have a somewhat ochre cast to them, but it’s not distinctive enough to really shout pumpkin. TJ’s missed an obvious opportunity to shape these chips like pumpkins. Or to dye them a true pumpkin-orange color. Or to dip each one in chocolate and drizzle it with orange and black icing. My point is that these are just chips. There’s nothing especially festive about them for the Halloween season. (My wife points out that this hasn’t prevented me from consuming the entire bag, however.) Anyway, as a Halloween treat, these lack pizzazz. No points.

3. Taste. When you eat your first Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Tortilla Chip, you notice that there’s something a little unusual about the taste of these chips. You eat a few more, and conclude that you don’t really like them that much. And then you finish the bag. At least, this is what happened to me.

But there are several aspects to the favor profile worth mentioning. The foundation for the taste is Basic Tortilla Chip. But there’s less salt than you’d normally taste in, say, Doritos. This is a huge loss, because, as far as I’m concerned, tortilla chips are little more than a crunchy delivery system for salt. Then there’s the “pumpkin” aspect to these chips. Despite what’s implied on the bag, these are not “pumpkin” chips, but rather they are corn tortilla chips with a little bit of pumpkin puree added. There’s so little you can barely taste it. What you can taste are trace amounts of nutmeg and cinnamon they’ve added to the recipe. But they detract from, rather than complement, the basic tortilla chip taste.

At the end of the day, there’s only two things wrong with these chips: (1) the recipe, and (2) the way the recipe is executed. Other than that, it’s a brilliant snack sensation. No points.

4. Value. This seven-ounce bag cost $1.99. That’s about the going price for, say, Doritos. So I’ll give it 2 points. But it’s wise to remember that getting a good price on something you don’t want isn’t a bargain.

Steve’s Spooktoberfest Score: 2 out of 12 points, which makes it a nasty TRICK. Don’t fall for the hype! (If you can call that anodyne, boring bag “hype.”)

The humble Oreo has been a key figure in the cookie universe for over a century now. First introduced in 1912, the Oreo is as simple as it is tasty: It’s just two chocolate cookie wafers with a schmear of sweet frosting in between. It’s claimed that the Oreo is the most popular cookie in the world, but I haven’t been able to find any backup data. Also, there’s some uncertainty about the origin of the Oreo’s name. Wikipedia notes one theory “that the name derives from the Latin Oreodaphne, a genus of the laurel family…. [T]he original design of the Oreo includes a laurel wreath; and the names of several of Nabisco’s cookies at the time of the original Oreo had botanical derivations, including Avena, Lotus, and Helicon (from Heliconia).”

Halloween Oreos were introduced as a seasonal item in 1991. And late September of each year you can find me camped out in front of the grocery store waiting for the Halloween Oreos to appear. So that’s what we’re reviewing today.

1. Packaging. In Pavlovian fashion, I salivate every time I see this package. But aside from the promise of the gastronomic goodness inside, the package also has some worthy nods to Halloween. Such as the prominent use of orange lettering. There’s also the word “BOO!” spelled out in specially-shaped Oreos. And an Oreo with a smiling Jack O-Lantern embossed on its front appears as the middle “O.” The package also promises that the cookies have “5 spooky Halloween designs.” This all adds up to major Halloween Ju-Ju. Still, the design seems a little bare for a Halloween treat. No cobwebs? No skeleton hand holding a cookie? No bats flying the background? There’s plenty of bare, blue space that could have accommodated something along those lines. I’ll give it 2 points.
2. Appearance of the Treat. You can’t help but smile when you see these cookies. The most prominent feature is the substitution of orange creme for the usual white stuff. It’s bright and festive, and perfectly complements the chocolate wafer to produce the classic orange-and-black Halloween motif. But wait! There’s more! Each cookie (except for one in my package, which evidently was defective) has a “spooky Halloween design” embossed in the cookie. These designs are a jack o’lantern (featured on the front of the package), a spider web, a ghost, a witch, and a bat with the words “dare to dunk.” (That last one is, I think, a little lame. Surely a skull would have been better.) Overall, though, these are fun and whimsical cookies. Halloween wouldn’t be the same without them. 3 points.

Taste. Oreos have a classic taste that perfectly balances chocolate and vanilla. They also have an ideal mouthfeel, combining a crisp cookie wafer with soft icing. So, going into this, you know that you’ve got a great cookie. But then they improve it with orange icing!!

OK, OK. I know that the package says “same taste.” But I don’t buy that for a second. These cookies somehow taste better to me than the regular Oreos. I’m not sure how; the orange creme isn’t flavored like orange or pumpkin or anything. But still, it’s a slightly different and better taste, just by dint of being orange. I’ve gotta give this 3 points.

4. Value. This 20-ounce package, with about 40 cookies, set me back $5.29. That works out to about 13 cents per cookie. Where else can you get this kind of visual and gustatory satisfaction for such a pittance? I was inclined to give it 3 points, but then I noticed that regular Oreos were going for $3.99. Again, we’re getting charged a premium just for the seasonal embellishment. That knocks off a point. So, I’ll rate the value as 2 points.

Steve’s Sweetoberfest Score: 10 out of 12 points. A definite TREAT! Get them before they’re gone and you’re stuck choking down the plain Jane Oreos!