A guest review by Steve’s friend Vic!

Faithful (attentive) readers will remember that Steve mentioned his fondness for sugar cookies in earlier Sweetoberfest blogs.  After two failed attempts to identify a sugar cookie that would meet his high standards, I (as his supportive friend) thought I would try to find one on his behalf.

The search took me to Karen’s bakery in the Northern California town of Folsom.  For those of you who may not be familiar with Folsom, it is a mid-sized community located about 25 miles east of Sacramento.  Folsom has a rich history which includes gold miners and railroads; however, it is most famous for being home to a large lake and one of California’s state prisons (Folsom Prison).  If this sounds familiar, you’re probably remembering that Johnny Cash recorded Folsom Prison Blues in 1955, and subsequently recorded an album at the prison in 1968.

Karen’s Bakery has a large selection of food and pastries and is as good a bakery as you’ll find anywhere.  So I thought they would definitely have a nice selection of sugar cookies.  They did have lots of cookies, including chocolate chip, snickerdoodles, gingersnaps, etc., but nothing that looked like a sugar cookie.  They did have cookies that were decorated to resemble candy corn and, when I asked if those might be sugar cookies (since candy corn is a big Halloween item), the attendant hesitantly stated that they were, in fact, sugar cookies.  Based on that shaky recommendation (which I was not overly confident in), I picked up three of the candy corn cookies (if you’re not sure whether a sweet treat is the right thing you’re looking for, it’s best to limit yourself to just three of them).

What follows is my (guest) review of the Karen’s Bakery candy corn sugar(?) cookie.

1. Packaging. Packaging for the cookies came in three stages: in the display case at the bakery; in the plastic container they were shipped home in; and in the bag we were given to take them home.  Full disclosure, I did not take a picture of them at the bakery, so I recreated the scene at home, showing how they were displayed at the bakery. The interior of the bakery had a couple of minimal Halloween decorations on display (a witch and some pumpkins) but, other than that, they didn’t do anything special to celebrate the big day.  They also didn’t have any special decoration for the plastic container or the bag they sent them home in (e.g., bats, floating eyeballs, Dracula).  So they missed an opportunity to get some Halloween decorating extra credits.  However, the display case and container clearly showed what we were bringing home, so let’s give them points for packaging.  2 points.

2. Appearance of the Treat. They did a great job with the appearance of these cookies!  First of all, they look like candy corn, which is about as Halloween-y as you can get.  The frosting looks great-it’s well-proportioned and there are little rectangular patterns on each layer of frosting which shows that they paid attention to detail when decorating the cookies.  The cookies are large, measuring 3 inches across and 4.5 inches top to bottom.  This is no little mini cookie, or something intended to give you just a “taste”-.  It’s the real deal!  I think they hit it out of the park on appearance!  3 points

3. Taste.  Tasting the cookie confirms that it is, in fact, a sugar cookie.  That’s a good thing—it’s what we were looking for!  The cookie itself (minus the frosting) is very good, with a background taste of vanilla that really hits the spot.  You could definitely taste the sugar, but it didn’t overpower you with sweetness.  The cookie was fresh, but it still had the perfect amount of crunchiness.  I was not in danger of damaging a molar (see Steve’s “Mummy Dearest” post), and when I sliced one in half (as Steve did with his mummy cookie), it softly separated, as opposed to cracking like a…cracker.  However, the frosting was too sweet.  They literally missed the “sweet” spot, where you would have just the right amount of sugary flavor, without having it overpower you!  After a couple of bites, I scraped off some frosting and, after trying the unfrosted cookie, confirmed that the cookie itself was very good.  However, adding the frosting produces a cookie that is overly sweet and not what you want in a sugar cookie.   Because of this disappointing combination, I’m giving it one point.  Sorry Steve, the search for the perfect sugar cookie continues. 1 point.

4. Value. Each cookie (weighing in at 2.6 ounces apiece) costs $2.00.  That’s a good deal  considering their appearance, large size and freshness, all of which would make it a great value.  However, the value rating takes a hit because they don’t rate very well on the all-important taste category (which when you get down to it, is the most important one).  Based on all of the criteria (including cost) I’m giving it 1 point for value.  1 point. 

Vic’s Sweetoberfest (Guest) Score: 7 out of 12 points, which makes it a minor TREAT .

Let’s just say from the outset that I’m not a huge Cheetos fan. But we’re on our 20th day of this Halloween Treat Expedition, and we’re running out of obvious choices. Plus, some of the items that I really wanted to review, like Peeps pumpkins and Cap’n Crunch’s Halloween Crunch (“the ghosts turn the milk green!”) have been sold out weeks now.

So when I saw this a special bag of Cheetos called a “Bag of Bones,” I figured I should nab it. And now you get to benefit from my selfless sampling of the product.

1. Packaging. This is a pretty good Halloween-themed bag. “Bag of Bones” is written in standard “scary” script, and there’s even an inexplicable skull poised over the “E.” The Cheetos are illustrated on the package in the shape of bones, and they even exchanged their usual hideous orange color with a bone-colored white cheddar coating. The package shows how the bones can be assembled into a skeleton. The background is midnight blue, with lightning bolts surrounding the bones. This is clearly a Halloween theme. 3 points.
2. Appearance of the Treat. The whole point of these Cheetos is that the look like skeleton bones. Which is kind of a “humerus” concept. I dug through the bag and put together a skeleton:

This skeleton is clearly fatter (?) than the one shown on the bag. He might have a bad case of elephantiasis. Or perhaps the baking process has some quality control issues. Either way, this skeleton has issues. Also, I was trying to figure out what the crescent-shaped bone is supposed to be. The bag has a million of them. I decided it must be the hips. But looking again at the illustration on the front of the bag, there are no hip bones. It appears that the mystery bone is simply a broken fragment of the skull. Another ding to quality control. I guess I’ll give the appearance two points, but that’s being generous. I can’t help myself.

3. Taste. As I said, I’m not a huge fan of Cheetos. But these struck me as especially odd. The white cheddar flavor is not something you’d associate with Cheetos, and it comes across as particularly weak and salty. The bone-shaped Cheetos also felt airier than regular Cheetos, and as soon as you start to crunch them with your teeth they dissolve into a thin, gummy paste, while white cheddar dust coats your face. Repurposing an advertising line from Jiffy Pop, I’d say that these skeletons are more fun to make than they are to eat. 1 point.

4. Value. This 7 and 1/2 ounce bag cost me $2.59. That’s about 35 cents per ounce, which isn’t a bad price. However, the 8 and 1/2 ounce bag, sitting on the same shelf, was going for a dime less. So it seems that the Cheetos people are charging a premium for this special version, which (in my opinion) tastes worse than the original. I can only give this 1 point.

Steve’s Sweetoberfest Score: 7 out of 12 points, which is barely a TREAT.

A little over 40 years ago, a father and his son opened a candy company in Randolph, Mass. They based their hand-made candies on recipes perfected by their Grandpa Francis Melville in the early 20th century. By all indications it’s been a successful business, and Melville Candy Company is today known for high-quality, whimsical treats. Check out the Halloween treats they are making this month; this stuff looks amazing!

Sadly, I’ve had a hard time finding their products here on the west coast. But the other day I did find a small selection of their Monster Marshmallow lollipops at BevMo. I picked one up to go with my pumpkin beer, and now I’ll share the results with you.

1. Packaging. Another cellophane bag, which means another two points. (I continue to appreciate the manufacturer’s willingness to let the potential consumer see the actual treat before purchasing it.) But I’m also adding another point, for the attached tag. Check out these paeans to Halloween: (1) orange and black lettering; (2) cartoon illustration of a marshmallow monster complete with limbs; (3) floating, disembodied eyeballs near the top of the card; (4) the salutation “Happy Halloween.” And then this tag is tied to the stick with a festive orange ribbon. These Melville folks are really getting into the spirit of things. 3 points.

2. Appearance of the Treat. This thing is awesome! It’s got a little bit of a Sponge Bob vibe going on, at least in terms of the shape. The googly eyes are of different sizes, which adds to the comic effect. And then it’s heavily doused with yellow, orange, and blue sprinkles. The resulting monster looks like it could have been created at Jim Henson’s muppet workshop. This is an appealing confection indeed. 3 points.

3. Taste. `As you’ve seen from previous posts, I’m not enthralled with marshmallow-based treats. But Melville’s Monster Marshmallow pops are special. They start with a marshmallow center that’s well-formed and solid without being tough. Then comes the magic that sets this apart from others: It’s dipped in some kind of a “chocolately coating before the sprinkles are added. Now, this “chocolately coating definitely isn’t real chocolate. I don’t think it even qualifies as chocolatey, if you ask me. The ingredients list claims the coating is made with sugar, milk, whey, buttermilk, cocoa, lactose, and vanilla. So, maybe it’s white chocolate? Or white chocolatey? In any event, this coating seems to serve three purposes. First, it’s what the sprinkles adhere to. It’s how they’re able to get such a thick, even layer of sprinkles to stay on the pop. Second, the coating imparts a taste of its own. I’d describe it as a cross between white chocolate and the green creme of a Frankencup. Finally, this “chocolatey” coating results in a satisfying crunch as you crack through it to get to the soft marshmallow underneath. Old Man Melville sure knew a thing or two about perfecting marshmallow pops! This was a fun and tasty treat. 3 points.

4. Value. This 2-ounce treat cost me three bucks. Which seems like a lot of cabbage for a single-serve treat. But the design, mouthfeel, taste, and hand-dipped artistry of this Halloween confection certainly justifies some extra cost. Plus, it’s imported all the way from the Bay State. I’ll give it 2 points.

Steve’s Sweetoberfest Score: 11 out of 12 points, which makes it a definite TREAT. We have a new high score!