Just over a year ago the Missus and I visited the town of Evora in Portugal. One particular vision from that trip is seared into my memory: the Capela dos Ossos (Chapel of the Bones). It’s a small, 16th-century chapel that adjoins the Church of St Francis, and its interior walls and ceiling are decorated (if that’s the word) with the bones from about 5,000 corpses. It’s said that the Franciscan friars built the chapel using exhumed skeletons from local cemeteries.

This is what you’d call an ossuary–a building or container that holds skeletal remains. Why did the friars put the bones on display rather than burying them? The answer, I think, is found in a poem that hangs within the chapel. It’s attributed to the village priest, Fr. António da Ascenção Teles, and here’s an English translation:

Where are you going in such a hurry, traveler?
Pause…do not advance your travel.
You have no greater concern than this one:
That which is now before your eyes.

Recall how many have passed from this world,
Reflect on your similar end.
There is good reason to do so;
If only all did the same.

Ponder, you so influenced by fate,
Among the many concerns of the world,
So little do you reflect on death.

If by chance you glance at this place,
Stop … for the sake of your journey,
The longer you pause, the further on your journey you will be.

Today I visited another ossuary of sorts: Placerville Union Cemetery. The cemetery was founded in 1871, and is said to be haunted. (But what graveyard isn’t said to be haunted?) Notable (to me at least) is that the cemetery’s arched gateway was designed and constructed by the same guy who designed and constructed the one at my property.

This morning the cemetery grounds were haunted by actors portraying key historical figures from the region. I watched a performance by Dan Trainor who portrayed Sheriff James Madison Anderson. Sheriff Anderson had unsuccessfully tried to halt Placerville’s last hangings in 1889. It’s a gut-wrenching story, as Sheriff Madison ultimately was obligated to pull the lever that executed two men he’d come to respect. (To this day Placerville continues to embrace its official nickname “Old Hangtown”.)

While I was watching Dan’s performance, I was standing near a stone that caught my interest. The Blair family emigrated to El Dorado County from Scotland in 1882, and their descendants continue to live in the area. Jennie Blair, next to whose marker I was standing, lived a full century that bridged many different eras in Placerville.

But let’s get back to Ossuaries. Look what I found at the local liquor store:

I’d never heard of Ghost Town Brewing before, but evidently it’s a popular brewery in west Oakland, California. The name “Ghost Town” is supposedly an old nickname for the brewery’s neighborhood, which ages ago hosted two coffin manufacturing operations. It’s claimed the brewery itself resides in one of those coffin plants, but details are sketchy. Still, you have to admit this is a promising backstory for a Halloween libation review. You can read more about Ghost Town Brewing, and how it was founded by a metal band as their side hustle, here.

But for now, let’s see how this stacks up on our Treat Template (TM).

Conceptual Soundness: As noted above, Ghost Town Brewing has a spooky backstory, and all their beers are named and packaged to tap into (ha!) that same vibe. The main concept here is to make a “robust porter” — that is, somewhat darker, more flavorful, or more potent than your average porter. Recognizing that Ghost Town’s jam seems to be graveyards/coffins/death and dare I say the underworld, it seems they’ve reverse-engineered the ABV of this porter to match their spooky vibe:

And in case the name “Ossuary” and the “666” don’t get the message across, they emblazon the can with a photo that may well have been taken from that ossuary in Evora that I featured at the top of this post.

Overall, it’s a sound (albeit simple) concept: Make a robust porter and surround it with dark imagery. 4 points. (I’m sure this score is influenced by the fact that, as a rule, I like porters.)

Appearance: Like most porters, it’s dark brown with a respectable tan head. It’s shot through with a bit a ruby-gold. It presents as a very solid and meaty drink for a cold October night. Coupled with the graphics on the can, I think this has earned an appearance score somewhere between 3 and 4 points. Let’s give it 3.5 points.

Taste: This beer has a complex range of tastes. It’s very malty, as expected, and the hop bitterness is reined in, as you’d expect from a porter. But swirl it over your tongue and you catch hints of Peet’s coffee, graham crackers, dark chocolate, mild pipe tobacco, burned pizza crust, and fennel. Notwithstanding the 16-oz container, this is a beer meant for sipping. You want to savory the flavors; pairing it with some strong cheese, I imagine, would really help bring out those flavors. This is delicious. This is 4 points.

Value: A four-pack set me back 20 bucks. That’s five dollars a beer, which is on the steep end. I might expect that for an imperial stout, but at “6.66%” ABV, this can’t really justify such a high price point. I give it 2 points.

Total Treat Score: 13.5 points. Highly recommend you drink one on the next dark and stormy night. Or as you watch this 1970 short film:

MAIL BAG

Loyal reader Katelyn P shared this video in reference to my Oct 1 post about Starbucks’ Raccoon Pop:

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