2024 Halloween treats · Halloween candy

Skull Candy

When I was a little brat growing up in the 1960s, the Easter Bunny (aka my mom) would always leave me an Easter basket filled with candy. I remember one year the basket contained (among other things) a marshmallow chick. As I recall, it was a reasonably detailed depiction, in bright yellow, with a distinct head and body, poised on little toothpick legs. I marveled at it…and then I bit its head off.

Their days are all numbered.

A few years later I discovered Peeps, which are extruded marshmallows roughly approximating the shape of a chick. They have no legs, no distinct segments. In fact, a package of five are technically just one big marshmallow, shaped in such a way to suggest five separate chicks that can be separated at the narrow isthmuses that connect them. They do not come close to the magical creature that Mom put in my Easter basket.

Peeps, I’ve learned, have been around since the 1950s…and the guy who created the “modern” Peep in 1954 just died, at age 98, last year. Today, the Peeps line has expanded to include bunnies, Christmas trees, and now skulls for Halloween.

OK, I’m game. Let’s review the little squishy brainpans see how they, uh, pan out.

Conceptual Soundness. Like cotton candy, marshmallows are a pretty simple candy without a lot of visual appeal. But Bob Born had the vision to mold them into festive shapes and festoon them with color and decorations. It’s a pretty good concept. 3 points.

Appearance of the Treat: The skulls are sold six to a box. The color palette employed on the box is an odd choice for a Halloween-themed confection. The bright green package with yellow and white accents has a springtime, Easter vibe. Perhaps the good folks at Peeps are just so rooted in their chicks origins that they can’t escape Easter pastels. But I think it creates an uncomfortable dissonance with the skull-shaped marshmallows.

But wait! These skulls are festively decorated in a distinct Dia de los Muertos pattern. In fact, they look like calaveras de azúcar–the sugar skulls that are inextricably associated with the Mexican holiday. Check it out:

Separated at death?

It gets me wondering if these are not so much intended for Halloween, but rather are meant as a nod to the Day of the Dead. Even though Dia de Los Muertos is sometimes referred to by philistines as “Mexican Halloween,” the two holidays are not interchangeable. Me, I’d prefer something a little spookier than a brightly-colored skull that resembles Joel Grey from Cabaret. Still, the Peeps design is colorful and well-executed. Let’s give it 3 points.

Wunderbar!

Taste: Basically, it’s just a marshmallow. But the outside has been sprinkled with fine sugar, which delivers a gritty though not unpleasant sensation. More importantly, the outer “skin” of the marshmallow is somewhat firmer than the gooey center, resisting your bite for a millisecond before yielding with a satisfying snap. It makes for a great mouthfeel. On the other hand, the taste itself is pretty uninteresting–just that saccharine, cloying sweetness you associate with classic marshmallows. Let’s give it 2.5 points.

Value: A box of these will cost you $1 at Rite Aid. That works out to 17 cents per skull. What else could deliver so much visual and gustatory entertainment at that price? 4 points.

Total Treat Score: 12.5/16 points. This is much better than I thought they’d score. What’s more, they each have no fat and only 47 calories, so they’re practically a health food!

Do yourself a favor and eat a box of them today.

2024 Halloween treats · Halloween candy

Witches Brew

Or should that be “Witches’ brew”???

In any case, I can’t read those words without thinking of this cartoon.

But the reason we’re discussing this is because Fluffy Stuff’s Witches Brew Cotton Candy is our treat of the day. Modern cotton candy was invented by a dentist (I’m not making this up) in 1897. It’s known as “candy floss” in the UK, and in France it goes by the rather disgusting sobriquet “daddy’s beard.”

Conceptual Soundness: Cotton candy strikes me as one of those accidental inventions that no one ever asked for, but which was widely embraced nonetheless. Objectively, there’s nothing especially appealing about eating pure sugar that’s been spun into something with the shape and texture of a dryer lint. But there’s something magical about the sensation of biting off a hunk of cotton candy and immediately feeling it melt into nothingness in your mouth. Its fun factor is further enhanced by its association with fairs and circuses and childhood. Let’s give it the full 4 points.

Appearance of the Treat. This product is sold in a foil bag featuring the silhouette of a slim and possibly hot witch, a black cat with Anime eyes, and scary “Witches brew” lettering. But open the bag and you see that this looks even more like dryer lint than you’d thought possible. It has a disgusting, dirty color and texture. Zero points.

This is an unretouched photograph of the actual “treat” once removed from the bag.
By way of comparison: Here’s some actual dryer lint. To my eye, it looks slightly more appealing than the cotton candy.

Taste: Not only does it look like dryer lint; it also tastes like it. Zero points.

Value: It was only a buck for a 2.1 ounce bag. Which isn’t bad. If you actually wanted to eat it. Which I don’t. Zero points.

Total Treat Score: 4/16 points

But wait! There’s a slight chance of redemption available from the “Witches Brew Berry Magic Punch” recipe on the back of the bag. Combine 1 cup cotton candy, 1/2 cup berry sparkling water, and 1/2 cup cran-raspberry juice. Watch the video:

Back to the drawing board…

"A Dying WIsh" · 2024 Halloween treats · cemeteries

Not a Slam Dunk

That headline has multiple meanings for today’s post.

First, just to get this out of the way, I did not receive the Saturday ‘Visiter’ Award last night at Poe Fest’s Black Cat Ball. But I’m pleased to report the award went to a worthy recipient: Sherrill Joseph has been writing a book series aimed at a youth audience that features a group of young investigators that evokes the Hardy Boys. The fifth book of her series is centered on Edgar Allan Poe, and it garnered the award. I spent much of the day yesterday with Sherrill and her daughter Nicole, and I couldn’t be more pleased that she won.

Sherrill and I promoting our SVA-nominated publications at Poe Fest.

So, before we move on to the Treat of the Day, permit me to share a few photos from last night’s Black Cat Ball.

I’ve never felt so short.

Sherrill and I with Vincent Price’s daughter, Victoria (center).
Four of the authors at the Saturday ‘Visiter’ Awards: AA Rubin, Sherrill Joseph, yours truly, and Holly Knightley.
Now that’s a cake!

OK, now let’s move from one not-a-slam-dunk to another.

Across the street from my hotel (the historic Lord Baltimore Hotel) was a Dunkin’ [Donuts]. I immediately recalled the delicious Spider Donut that I reviewed a couple of years ago. Could I experience the magic again?

Alas, the Spider Donut has crawled off Dunkin’s menu. The only “fall treat” they had on offer was a Pumpkin Muffin. Resignedly, I took the muffin and walked back to the hotel lobby to conduct this review.

Conceptual Soundness: C’mon. It’s an unadorned pumpkin muffin. It’s not a complicated concept, but neither is it especially interesting. 2 points.

Appearance of the Treat: Unlike the Starbucks muffin that I reviewed a few days ago, this is deeply cracked and misshapen. It looks like the unholy spawn of a bear claw and a Soufflé. The color is reasonably pumpkin-y, but I suspect the presence of food coloring. There’s no cream cheese or pepitas or anything to make this muffin special. They couldn’t even be bothered to use a seasonally-appropriate orange muffin cup. 1 point.

Taste: The taste is actually pretty good. There’s a slight pumpkin flavor, and it’s sweet, but not to the point of cloying. Unlike some grocery store muffins, this has no artificial or off taste.

The cake is very moist, to the point of being almost soggy. It would have benefited from another couple of minutes in the oven. The top has none of that slight crusting that I find so satisfying to bite through. Instead, the whole muffin just kind of collapses on contact. But then, somehow, each bite of this overly moist muffin ends with a dry, desiccated, crumbly finish. It seems to defy the laws of baking physics.

Post-snacking detritus.

Overall, despite the decent taste, the eating experience is fatally compromised. The mouthfeel just doesn’t work, and the unadorned cake is so homogeneous that you’re sick of it by the time you finish. This is why breakfast cereals have crunch berries or marshmallow moons or whatever. 1 point.

Value: I paid $2.75 for this is downtown Baltimore. The price compares favorably to the Starbucks cream cheese muffin ($3.95). But you’ll recall that was a delicious treat; this is not. I’ll score the value at 2 points.

Total Treat Score: 6/16 points.

Now it’s time to leave Baltimore and say goodbye to Poe Fest. Tomorrow our seasonal treat focus will shift to Halloween candy.

Until next time, Eddie.
"A Dying WIsh" · 2024 Halloween treats · Halloween

The Least Popular of the Spice Girls

I’ve been trying to think of way to casually mention that I was (sort of) talking to Vincent Price’s daughter last night. Something like, “As I was saying to Victoria last night over dinner…” But it would be stretching the truth too much, even for me. The fact is that the good people at Poe Fest had asked attendees to send in questions for the interviewer to ask Victoria Price at last night’s screening of her father’s movie, The Masque of the Red Death. My question was among those that were used. So, in a way, I asked her a question and she answered it.

Victoria Price, answering my trenchant questions.

The movie itself I can’t really recommend to anyone but a Poe or Price completist. It’s a heavily padded and reworked version of Poe’s short story, and it’s unusually lurid and garish and heavy-handed in depicting Prince Prospero’s Satan-loving heart. But it was fun nevertheless, and the event was held in an impressive space that started out as Baltimore’s Eutaw Savings Bank in 1887. And they had it all dressed up for the occasion.

Masque of the Persimmon Death?
Thoughtful table decorations.

I also have to give a shout-out to Stephanie, one of the attendees who dressed up as The Red Death.

If you’ve seen the movie, then you’re impressed by the verisimilitude of this costume.

Anyway, it was a great event and my hat’s off to the Poe Fest organizers.

But let’s move on to the Treat of the Day. And for that, Iet’s recall the Spice Girls. They were ubiquitous in the long-since-passed Clinton era. They had albums, concert tours, even movies. Did you know they were the most popular “girl group” (their term, not mine) of all time? I think of them every time I hear the term “pumpkin spice,” which to me sounds like the name of a sixth Spice Girl. You know, kind of like the fifth Beatle.

“Too Much” indeed.

Almost exactly 21 years ago (on October 10, 2003 to be exact), Starbucks introduced the pumpkin Spice Latte (PSL). Starbucks makes a big deal about how the PSL was “invented” in their “liquid lab” in Seattle, where mad-scientist researchers ate pumpkin pie and drank espresso and tried to replicate those flavors in a drink. The PSL recipe supposedly involves actual pumpkin puree, as well as sugar, espresso, milk, and of course pumpkin spice, which they define as “a mixture of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cloves, and allspice that is commonly used in pumpkin pie.” 

The PSL became an enormous hit, thanks in part to an intense marketing campaign, social media influencers, and Facebook posts. The PSL became Starbucks’ most popular seasonal beverage ever. Naturally, the soaring popularity of the PSL inspired a backlash, and today you can find plenty of haters online. The youngsters dismiss the drink as “basic,” which is about as damning as it comes.

So which is it? Is the PSL a seasonal classic that offers a fun way to immerse yourself in autumn? Or is it a soulless corporate meme that jumped the shark years ago? Chasing Phantoms decided to check it out!

Conceptual Soundness. It’s admittedly a good concept. Let’s combine the sensory experience of eating pumpkin pie with the taste and caffeine kick of espresso. What’s not to like? 4 points.

Appearance of the Treat: As with my “seasonal drink” at Dutch Bros, the PSL drops the ball by not using a festive cup. The drink looks like any other. Boring, and an obvious missed opportunity for a drink that Starbucks (and many others) consider iconic. No points.

Equivalent of a brown paper bag.

Taste: I have to say: I don’t see what all the fuss is about. It seems to just be a latte with some sweetener. I detect a slight note of caramel, but I don’t taste any spice. Which is problematic for something called a Pumpkin Spice Latte.

The drink comes across as quite “flat.” There’s no texture, and it even seems a little watery, as though they used nonfat milk. (Note: I simply asked the barista for a pumpkin spice latte; no directions were given nor questions asked about type of milk, adding whipped cream, etc. This is the “standard” version.)

More than anything, it seemed as though something was missing. It was lacking in spice, lacking in mouthfeel, and it even seemed to be lacking in espresso. At least it wasn’t cloyingly sweet, and there are no off tastes. But overall this is a nothing burger. 1 point.

Value: I paid the odd amount of $6.84 for a grande. I know coffee is getting expensive, but that seems outrageous for such an uninteresting drink. 1 point.

Total Treat Score: 6 points.

Now it’s time for me to get back to Poe Fest. Tonight is the Big Reveal of the Saturday ‘Visiter’ Award winners! If your interested, below is a short discussion of my entry.

"A Dying WIsh" · 2024 Halloween treats

Masques and Muffins

I have arrived in Charm City for Poe Fest. To refresh your memory, I am here because my short story, “A Dying Wish,” has been selected as a finalist for the Poe Festival’s Saturday ‘Visiter’ Awards. The winners will be announced tomorrow night at the sumptuous Black Cat Ball. Stay tuned for updates.

I’ve performed some light editing on my story since it appeared in serialized form last year, had it typeset, and had it printed for distribution at Poe Fest. I’d be happy to send a copy to interested readers of this blog as well; just drop me an email. The story is also available at the Kindle store for 99 cents, if that’s how you prefer to do your reading. Here’s the link.

Tonight at Poe Fest we’re going to watch a special screening of the 1964 adaptation of Poe’s masterpiece, The Masque of the Red Death. The film stars Vincent Price and is directed by Roger Corman. Vincent Price’s daughter–Victoria Price–will be there to introduce the film. Notably and confusingly, her Wikipedia page says “Although Victoria is the daughter of a horror icon, she is not a fan of horror films, but she is a fan of horror film fans.” This should be interesting…

Meanwhile, let’s turn to our Seasonal Treat Review. Today’s entry is a fall classic: the Starbucks pumpkin cream cheese muffin.

Conceptual Soundness: As I said, this is a classic It’s essentially pumpkin bread in muffin form, with a generous dollop of cream cheese baked right in. Here’s how Starbucks describes it: “A spiced pumpkin muffin topped with sweet cream-cheese filling and a sprinkling of chopped, spiced pepitas.” Pepitas, by the way, are basically pumpkin seeds. (I had to look it up.) Anyway, this sounds like a winner. 4 points!

Appearance of the treat. This is an attractive muffin, if I may say so. It’s baked to perfection, with that golden brown color that you associate with pumpkin bread pulled straight from the oven. The top of the muffin generously spills over the paper-cup-constrained base. (Insert obvious joke about middle-age spread here.) A caldera on the summit of this muffin is filled with luscious cream cheese, and the whole thing is sprinkled with “pepitas” (though they look suspiciously like rolled oats). The paper muffin cup is orange, which is seasonally appropriate. All that’s missing is a cute little plastic muffin topper in the shape of a pumpkin or a black cat. I give the appearance of this treat 3.5 points.

Beau idéal

Taste. In a word, delicious. The cake is moist, delivering a perfect mouthfeel that stands up to the cream cheese. The pepitas lend a (slightly) crunchy, salty, and savory flair that complements the moist and sweet cake. The cream cheese filling is rich and flavorful; it’s a far cry from the cloying, fake cream cheese that is mindlessly troweled onto a grocery store sheet cake. The proportions of the component ingredients are pleasing, and the size of this muffin is enough to satisfy during the long stretch between lunch and dinner. Plus, at 350 calories, this won’t unduly exacerbate your muffin top. 4 points.

Value: This cost me $3.95, which seems about right for what it is. Certainly it’s far better than Starbucks’ raccoon pop, which is a quarter the size and costs the same amount. 3 stars.

Total Treat Score: 14.5/16 points.