Fool Me Twice…

October 26, 2022October 26, 2022 steveboilard6 Comments

Loyal reader Jerry G posted a message to this blog, insisting that I “have to get back on that Green Chartreuse Horse!” And he helpfully provided a recipe for a cocktail called a Green Ghost.

Now, leaving aside the wisdom of risking the horrible hangover I experienced from the Herman and the Lily, I was intrigued by the recipe Jerry sent. For starters, it’s incredibly easy to make, and I already have the three simple ingredients. Second, the recipe is in video form, and I have a man-crush on the giant Aussie teddy bear who’s making it. And finally, I think enough time has passed since my unfortunate Chartreuse incident, and it’d be interesting to see if that spirit is as foul and dangerous as I remember it. So, throwing caution to the wind, I figured I’d make me a Green Ghost.

The Recipe: Here’s the video. It’s only 4 minutes and well worth watching:

So, to summarize: Mix 1 oz of London dry gin, 1/2 oz Green Chartreuse, and 1/2 oz lime juice in a cocktail shaker. Strain it into a glass, and garnish with a lime wheel. Done!

The Ratings: This is a nice-looking, respectable drink. It looks like lemonade, a little opaque with a slight fizz. It’s elegant and fresh and bright–everything you wouldn’t want in a Halloween cocktail. Accordingly, I have to give it no points for appearance.

The taste starts out citrus-forward, brisk, and tart. But each successive sip tastes more and more bitter. The citrus quickly falls away, and you’re left with the volatile organic bite of cheap paint thinner. There’s nothing to attenuate the sharp, acrid sear of the Chartreuse. Suddenly, my earlier misadventures with Chartreuse come crashing back, and I’m ready to pour it down the drain. But first I offer a sip to my wife, because (1) maybe it’s just my PTSD that’s preventing me from ever enjoying Chartreuse again, and (2) it’s fun to watch her face when she drinks something she hates. Reason #2 was operative this time, and Karen gave a nauseated expression and asked “Why would you want to torture your tastebuds?” I poured the rest down the drain. No points for taste. I just can’t get on the Chartreuse Train. Sorry, Jerry!

But I have to admit that “Green Ghost” is a good name for a Halloween cocktail. It has alliteration, it invokes eerie images, and it actually has a link to the ghostly green of the drink. It also reminds me of the first “Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Investigators” book I bought as a kid. (Eventually I collected the whole series of these Hardy Boys knockoffs.)

And it also reminds me of a board game that was popular in the 1960s.

For all these reasons, I’ll give the name the full 2 points.

But that only gives it a grand total of 2 points (0+0+2=2). We have a new record for low score.

Halloween Cocktails

Black is the New Orange

October 25, 2022 steveboilard2 Comments

As we enter the final week of this Halloween cocktail journey, we return to the basics. And by “basics,” I mean those 77 cocktails that are officially recognized by the International Bartenders Association (Motto: “What’ll ya have, Mac?”). Naturally, you’re thinking:

I wonder how many of those 77 cocktails I’ve tried?
Has Steve included any of those 77 cocktails in his postings this month?
What? There’s an International Bartenders Association??

On the list are included the usual suspects (margarita, cosmopolitan, dark ‘n stormy). But there are also a number I’ve never heard of (Russian Spring Punch, Horse’s Neck). Notably, a few of the list’s entries are simply variations on each other (dry martini and dirty martini are separate entries, as are gin fizz and Ramos gin fizz). Anyway, surely someone out there has tried all 77. Let me know how many you’ve tried!

But to get back to the matters at hand: Today, as I’ve said, we’re getting back to basics, and it’s taking the form of a screwdriver. (Interesting factoid: Legend has it that the screwdriver cocktail, which came about during World War II, got its name because American servicemen lacked spoons and instead used screwdrivers to stir the drink.) (Not-so-interesting factoid: In Britain they call it a “Vodka and Orange.”)

This Halloween version of the classic cocktail is called a “Screwed Up Screwdriver”, and it comes from one of the scariest sources you can imagine: Martha Stewart. (I’m not making this up.) I’m guessing during her time in the slammer she referred to it as a “shiv.” So let’s get to it!

The Recipe: On Martha’s website, she lists all of the following as “Step 1.”

Step 1 Place ice in a tall glass. Pour 1/2 cup freshly squeezed tangerine juice into the glass. Pour 1-1/2 oz of black vodka over the back of a cock-tail spoon into the glass so it sits on top of juice and creates a layer of black. Slice 1/4 inch off each end of a black licorice twist, and use as a straw. Serve immediately.

Note that there is no Step 2, and that Martha hyphenates “cocktail.”

The Ratings:

The appearance is kinda interesting: Black on the top, orange on the bottom. And the licorice twist adds some visual interest. I took the above picture moments after carefully adding the vodka, but as you can see, the vodka was already mixing with the orange juice. Still, it’s kind of spooky. I’ll give it 3.5 points.

The taste is less interesting. Folks, this is essentially a screwdriver. It tastes of fruit juice. And that’s it. A screwdriver is always good as a breakfast drink (just as a glass of orange juice is always good as a breakfast drink). But as a Halloween cocktail, it’s too sunny and familiar. I can’t give more than 1.5 points here.

The name is lame. Surely Martha could have done better than “Screwed Up Screwdriver”? It’s not a scary or seasonal reference at all. And the pun (if that’s what it is) is tired and lame. (And if there’s someone who knows tired and lame puns, it’s me!) No points.

Grand total: 5 points.

Halloween Cocktails

Bone-ified Halloween Cocktail

October 24, 2022 steveboilard2 Comments

In nineteen-hundred and eighty-two Tim Burton wrote a poem.

About a guy obsessed with Halloween.

Then ten years later Tim received the green light from Touchstone

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” could be seen!

OK, it admittedly needs a little work. But whenever I encounter anything related to The Nightmare Before Christmas, the movie’s opening song (Danny Elfman’s “This is Halloween”) runs through my mind. And I’m always struck by how the song both sticks in your head and monumentally sucks. I mean, the “music” is practically a monotonal C-major meditation. And the lyrics are full of forced rhymes: “age” and “strange”; “see” and “Halloween”; “scream” and “Halloween”; “home” and “song.” Anyway, my point isn’t to dump on Danny Elfman, but rather to explain why I find myself writing doggerel.

The reason I brought up The Nightmare Before Christmas is because today’s drink is something called the Jack Skellington. You’ll recall that Jack Skellington is the “King of Halloweentown” in the movie.

Now, I should note that there are a number of very different cocktails called a “Jack Skellington” rattling around on the Internet. But the one I chose comes from a cocktail bar in Melbourne, Australia. It contains both vodka and Scotch, which sounds a little odd to me, but also sounds intriguing. Let’s make one!

The Recipe: In a cocktail shaker with ice mix 30 ml vanilla vodka, 10 ml Johnnie Walker, 20 ml Antica, 20 ml Little Drippa, and 15 ml pumpkin spiced syrup. (These Australians have evidently never heard of the English measurement system. For those not conversant with antipodal measurements, let me translate: 1 oz vodka, 2 tsp Scotch, 2/3 oz sweet vermouth, 2/3 oz cold extracted coffee, and 1/2 oz pumpkin spiced syrup.) Then garnish with whipped cream and toffee.

The Ratings: The appearance of this drink is moderately attractive. Yes, it looks like espresso with cream. The coffee/Scotch/vermouth color approximates that of a good porter. But I really don’t see how this resembles “Jack Skellington.” I’ll give it 2.5 points. And that’s just because I’m feeling generous.

Turning to the taste: O.M.G.! This is delicioso (as we Iberian people like to say). The coffee (Little Drippa) and the Scotch (Johnnie Walker) interact beautifully, pumping up their smoky, earthy flavors. Those peaty notes are perfectly balanced by the sweetness of the pumpkin spice syrup and sweet vermouth. The whipped cream and toffee might be inclined to tip the whole thing towards saccharin, but that’s where the vodka comes to the rescue, centering the whole drink as a high-alcohol, peaty, creamy drink reminiscent of something a wise teenager would order at Starbucks.

I should note that this drink reminds me of a Laphroaig espresso martini, which, in my opinion, is the single best cocktail in the world. But whereas the Laphroaig drink is sweetened by simple syrup, the Jack Skellington has a mix of pumpkin spice syrup, whipped cream, and sweet vermouth. The overall effect is complex, balanced, and pungent. I wouldn’t drink it every day, but it sure is a fun drink for a change of pace. I simply must give this cocktail the full 4 points for taste.

The name is definitely Halloween-related, but it’s not really connected to the drink at all. One wonders why this particular name was chosen. The best I can offer here is 1.5 points.

Grand Total: 8 points.

Halloween Cocktails

Back in Black

October 23, 2022 steveboilardLeave a comment

By pure coincidence, immediately after I received Erin R’s recipe for a black “Headless Horseman,” my friend Chris F. sent me a recipe for a “Black Magic Margarita.” Who knew that there’d be multiple recipes for black cocktails?

Whenever I hear the phrase “Black Magic, I think of my dad. Let me explain: Dad was skeptical about almost everything, and when a heating/air conditioning guy came out to fix Dad’s furnace, Dad pronounced that the work he did was “black magic.” It’s the only way Dad could reconcile the fact that a twenty-something guy with a community college degree could successfully fix something that had stumped him.

Anyway, a “Black Magic Margarita” is clearly more Halloween-appropriate than a generic margarita. So let’s make one!

The Recipe: Before I provide the recipe, let me acknowledge that I’ve cut all the ingredients in half. The original recipe was created by a bourbon distiller, and they call for a full 4 oz (!) of their bourbon for this cocktail. I think half that would be more than enough. So, all the ingredients listed here are cut in half.

So here’s my altered recipe: combine 2 oz bourbon, 1 oz orange juice, 1/2 oz Triple Sec, 1 oz lime juice, and 1 oz agave nectar in a shaker with ice. Shake, and pour into a glass with ice that’s had the rim prepared with black sugar icing. Add 1.5 oz sparkling water, and green, red, and blue food coloring. Stir.

The Ratings: The appearance of this drink is suitable for something called a “Black Magic Margarita.” But I must acknowledge that the color, while very dark, has a distinct green cast. The idea (according to the recipe) is that combining red, blue, and green food coloring should produce black. But that’s not the case, even after I repeatedly added a drop of this and a drop of that. If you want a black cocktail, I recommend adding activated charcoal (as we did for the Headless Horseman yesterday).

So, the appearance gets a 2.5 (brought down a bit because of the green cast).

But let’s talk about taste: Yum! This is a very tasty cocktail indeed. It’s not your typical margarita. For starters, it uses bourbon rather than tequila. And while I do appreciate tequila (and even more than that, Mescal), bourbon provides a bolder taste with notes of brown sugar, maple syrup, vanilla, and various spices. This particular cocktail balances the bourbon and the sweet agave nectar quite well. The orange juice and lime juice lend a solid citrus backbone, and the sugar on the rim ensures a sweet finish. It’s a complex cocktail that goes down easy. I have to give this 4 points. Seriously. This is an enjoyable drink. Now I’m thinking that maybe I shouldn’t have cut all the ingredients in half!

The name of this cocktail is moderately cool. “Black magic” is a Halloween theme of course, but “Black Magic Margarita” not an especially imaginative name for a black margarita. I’ll give the name 1.5 points…and that’s my final offer.

Grand Total: 8 points.

Halloween Cocktails

Headless in Seattle

October 22, 2022 steveboilard4 Comments

Halloween season is a good time to re-familiarize ourselves with Washington Irving’s short story, “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.” The story was first published almost exactly two centuries ago–in 1819–and it famously focuses on a local schoolmaster (Ichabod Crane) and, of course, a headless horseman.

I am reminded of the story frequently, as there’s a community near our home called “Sleepy Hollow.” For this post I tried looking up the history of that nearby community, but I came up empty-handed. I did learn, however, that there are several other Sleepy Hollows in California, including one near Chino Hills and one near San Anselmo.

There have been many film adaptations of the story, starting with a 1922 silent movie starring Will Rogers.

He doesn’t look like the Will Rogers that I remember!

…but it’s likely that you’ve only seen the Tim Burton version (1999, starring Johnny Depp) or perhaps Disney’s animated version (1949, starring the voice of Bing Crosby).

Notably, there’s a new version of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow currently being released in short episodes each week by Shipwrecked Comedy. You can watch the episodes released so far on YouTube. Here’s the trailer:

To be honest, this isn’t Shipwrecked Comedy’s best effort. Instead, I highly, highly recommend their recent “Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party.” Here’s the trailer:

But I digress. We were talking about Sleepy Hollow. And the reason we’re talking about Sleepy Hollow is because noted mixologist and family friend Erin Rea has developed a special cocktail for use in this monthlong Halloween cocktail experiment. Her drink is called The Headless Horseman. So, without further ado….

The Recipe: Combine 2 oz bourbon, 1/2 oz lemon juice, 2 dashes of Angostura bitters, and 1/8 tsp of activated charcoal into a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake vigorously for 20-30 seconds to really integrate the charcoal. Strain into a tall glass with fresh ice, top with 3 oz ginger beer, and stir lightly to integrate.

Yes, you read that right–“activated charcoal” is an ingredient. It’s used to create the black color of the drink. It’s sold in capsule form at CVS, as an “anti-gas” nostrum. [Insert obvious joke here.]

The Ratings:

This is our first all-black drink. The photo above doesn’t really do it justice. It’s an inky black that doesn’t look like any cocktail I’ve ever had. It might have been cool to have added a little dry ice, but it’s still striking just on its own. I’ll give it a solid 3 points for appearance.

In terms of taste: This is essentially a Kentucky Mule. As such, it’s refreshing and a little spicy. One of my favorite summer drinks is a Moscow Mule (vodka, lime juice, ginger beer, and a little ginger syrup). This Kentucky Mule uses bourbon in place of the vodka, replaces the lime juice with lemon juice, and skips the ginger syrup. The result is a more refreshing, less sharp, and less sweet drink than my usual Moscow Mule. The activated charcoal imparts no flavor, but the visual effect causes the drink to come across as perhaps a bit richer than it actually is. Notably, the bourbon is almost entirely disguised by the ginger beer. This just goes down damn easy. I’ll give the taste 3 points.

The name gets the full 2 points–The “horseman” is presumably a riff on the “mule” theme (Horse + Donkey = Mule), which I think is pretty clever. And the headless horseman, as we’ve already established, is a good Halloween story. And to top it all off, the headless horseman’s horse is almost always depicted as black.

Grand Total: 8 points.