2025 Advent cocktails

Advent Spirits Day 16: El Dorado Rum

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Editor’s Note: I neglected to post this review on Tuesday. You may or may not have missed it. But in the spirit of what The Tubes called The Completion Backwards Principle, I post it now.

You may recall that the first spirit of this Advent calendar was Novo Fogo barrel-aged cachaça. As we discussed way back then, cachaça is essentially a form of rum. Much of it is not aged at all, but the stuff we tried had been aged in oak barrels for two years.

Today we’re going to try honest-to-goodness rum. And it’s not any old rum; what we have here is El Dorado Rum that’s been aged for 12 years. El Dorado is an auspicious name, for at least two reasons. First, as I sit writing this, I am ensconced in El Dorado County (pop: 193,000). Second, it’s the name of a poem that Edgar Allan Poe wrote in his last months among the living.

But as regards the rum, let’s turn to their website:

“The county of Demerara in Guyana has been steeped in the history of sugar and rum production since the 17th century. Today, Demerara Distillers Limited operates the last remaining distillery in Guyana at Plantation Diamond on the East Bank of the Demerara River, after having consolidated all the old original stills and marques which make Demerara Rum so distinctive.

The El Dorado 12 Year Old possesses a rich fruity bouquet of explosive flavours, owing largely to the estery richness acquired from the EHP Wooden Coffey and Metal Coffey Stills.”

OK, so they are touting centuries of history, special stills, and lots of time in the barrel. Let’s splice the mainbrace!

Appearance: A very rich copper color, like a red oak hardwood floor that’s been freshly stained and sealed, before the kids and the dogs and grandma’s walker scratch it up.

Aroma: It’s a delicious aroma, like molasses cookie dough with a little added brandy, per the old Boilard family recipe. I guess a more precise comparison would be to rum balls, but that’s a little too on-the-nose. In any event, it’s sugary and rich, with notes of vanilla and Christmas spices. This seems quite promising indeed.

Taste: It’s as delicious as it smells! It’s got the full, round flavor of the aforementioned molasses cookies, with secondary tastes of orange peel and clove. The sweetness is balanced by the taste of salted nuts (the cheap, indistinguishable mix that my mom bought for my birthday parties) and a strong (but not harsh) alcohol astringency. It’s nothing fancy, but it has some complexity and it’s enjoyable to sip.

Finish: As opposed to the orange peel on the palate, the finish has a little bitterness like orange pith. It also has a bit of an alcohol burn, but what do you expect from straight rum?

Bottom Line: Yo-ho-ho! I would drink this Nelson’s Blood on a chilly night. It’s 80 proof, which is the same as most bourbons or Scotches. I may work it into my regular rotation.

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Advent Spirits Day 17: Big Horn Bourbon Whiskey

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It’s an odd-numbered day, so it must be time for another bourbon…

Today we have something called Big Horn Bourbon Whiskey. The last two words seem a little redundant; they remind me of the irritating phrase “cash money.” Or “50 percent off discount.” Or “a Cadillac car.” You get my point.

Anyway, this Big Horn Bourbon (Whiskey) comes from a place called Willie’s Distillery, in Ennis, Montana. None of that sounds reassuring. The bourbon has claimed a few awards, which are featured prominently on the website. But they were received a decade ago; what have you done for me lately? Here’s their sales pitch:

“Bighorn Bourbon is a superior blend of fine bourbons of varying ages. [Editor’s note: I take this to mean most of the component spirits are younger than my unborn grandson.] Named for the majestic Rocky Mountain Bighorn Ram, this smooth spirit is unbeatable on the rocks but also mixes perfectly in your favorite whiskey cocktail or in one of our signature drinks below.”

And so, with trepidation, let’s do our tasting.

Appearance: It’s lighter than most bourbons we’ve tasted so far, perhaps owing to the (presumably) short time in the barrel. I’d say it’s the color of your standard commercial jet fuel.

Aroma: Inoffensive, even pleasant. It’s the smell of unseasoned microwave popcorn doused with lots of olive oil.

Taste: All together now: “Steve was right.” This stuff is way too young to be a proper bourbon. It tastes like moonshine. There’s no depth, no character. Just a lot of corn flavor, with an alcohol burn.

Finish: Your esophagus will be. Finished, that is.

Bottom Line: Some of you may assume I’m making this sound worse than it is for dramatic effect. And you would be wrong.

2025 Advent cocktails

Advent Spirits Day 15: Broken Boundaries Bourbon

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Over the past couple of weeks I have wondered how spirits are selected for this Advent calendar. Do distillers pay to get their spirits included? Does The Mixologer (the company that makes the calendar) actually have a particular standard they are applying when the select the spirits? And why are approximately half of them bourbon?

That last question is explained on The Mixologer’s website, where they explain “Our team of mixologists have [sic] hand selected 24 uniquely delicious spirits for your enjoyment. We know many of you are bourbon aficionados so 50% of the selections are premium bourbons.” Now, how they know how many of their potential customers will be bourbon aficionados is unexplained, but it’s probably circular reasoning. It seems that bourbon aficionados would be drawn to an advent calendar that is heavily tilted in the bourbon direction.

Anyway, I do think I’ve discovered why one particular spirit was included. And it’s today’s spirit: Broken Boundaries Bourbon.

For as I was looking up info on this spirit, I learned that it’s sold by The Mixologer–i.e., it’s sold by the same company that makes the Advent calendar. Of course, that’s not necessarily a problem. In fact, if they didn’t include their own bourbon, I would question why. So, let’s see what they have to say about it on their website:

“We didn’t start The Mixologer to be defined by boundaries. With great customers as our guide, we’ve always been determined to build world-class spirit products, fighting through the barriers. We aim to be bold and fearless in all our adventures. And we hope to invite you along for our fun ride into the unknown. [It has] notes of vanilla, brown sugar, caramel, tobacco, and good times. [It is] aged 5 years. Mash Bill: 66% corn, 20% malted barley, and 14% rye.” I would add that this is 90 proof, which is on the high side for a bourbon.

OK, as usual the first three sentences tell us nothing. “We aim to be bold and fearless in all our adventures.” Whatever, dude. But again, let us not be distracted from the litmus test, which is: What’s the stuff actually like? Here we go:

Appearance: It’s the color of organic apple cider vinegar that some kid dropped a Runt apple candy into, thus giving it a very slight red cast.

Aroma: Unlike some other bourbons from past weeks, this one has a pronounced aroma. (And aroma is pronounced əˈroʊmə). I smell toasted marshmallow-flavored Jelly Belly, vanilla, and a fresh-baked bialy. It’s actually quite appealing.

Taste: Yuck! This tastes nothing like what I expected. It’s very vegetal, like maybe asparagus or Brussels sprouts or something else I hated as a kid. Could this bourbon have possibly gone bad? Seriously, this is not how a bourbon should taste. It’s like eating a salad that has some mystery ingredient that you can’t quite place, but that you know doesn’t belong there, and it therefore ruins the whole meal. It’s like when you store leftover banana cream pie in a Tupperware container, but the container has been forever imprinted with the sardines that you accidentally left in it at the back of the fridge for a year, and thus your lasagna acquires that disgusting, overpowering flavor note. In a word, this is foul.

Finish: The finish is mainly just a sense of relief that the offending spirit has exited your mouth and is being converted to harmless urine.

Bottom Line: I think we’ve seen how “boundaries” sometimes are a good thing, and shouldn’t be broken.

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Advent Spirits Day 14: Blue Ice Potato Vodka

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OK, this almost sounds like a parody of a modern vodka. It’s potato vodka from–where else?–Idaho. And the key marketing points are that it’s low-calorie, gluten-free, and non-GMO. The only thing missing is any discussion of taste!

Let’s see how they describe their product:

“America’s finest potato vodka can only come from one place—Idaho. The home of the luscious Russet Burbank potato and the birthplace of Blue Ice Vodka. Idaho is where the people behind our brand come from and live, where our natural ingredients are sourced and where our product is crafted. Perfect for cocktails under 100 calories, with only 64 calories per ounce serving.”

So, again, it sounds like they’re focused on everything but the taste. That’s where this blog comes in. Let’s see what we can discover…

Appearance: It looks like nothing. It’s completely clear.

Aroma: It smells like nothing. Seriously. This is the Sgt Schultz of spirits; “I see nothing! I smell nothing!”

Taste: It tastes like almost nothing. The taste, such as it is, is pretty subtle. There’s some French fry on the palate, and a little au gratin in the background. OK, that’s just a lame joke. It tastes like very smooth vodka, which is to say, it doesn’t taste like much. It’s main job is just to deliver 40 percent alcohol.

Finish: Exceptionally smooth. There’s none of that burn that you get from the cheap-o vodkas. It doesn’t leave you wanting more, but it doesn’t leave you running for a chaser, either.

Bottom Line: This would probably be a good vodka for a mixed drink. It’s almost invisible in terms of appearance and aroma and taste and finish. My local Total Wine has it for 19 bucks. So, why not?

2025 Advent cocktails

Advent Spirits Day 13: Jim Beam Bourbon

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When you hear that something is the world’s most popular of its kind in the world, do you think (1) wow–it’s gotta be good for that many people to like it, or (2) it’s gotta be plebian pablum to appeal to the global masses. And whether you chose (1) or (2), why do you think “gotta” rather than “got to”?

Anyway, as you might have guessed from context clues, Jim Beam sells the most bourbon in the world. And if you were going to object that Jim Beam is eclipsed by Jack Daniels, I’d be obligated to point out that, technically, Jack Daniels is not labeled as bourbon but as “Tennessee Whiskey.” Unlike bourbon, Tennessee Whiskey must be produced in Tennessee, and it must go through a final filtering process not required of bourbon. I suppose you could argue that Tennessee Whiskey is a sub-type of bourbon…but JD has chosen instead to insist it’s not a bourbon, and so it does not technically compete in the same category as Jim Beam.

Now that we’ve dispensed with the throat-clearing, let’s take a look at today’s spirit, which is Jim Beam Black. This is distinct from the classic, white-label Jim Beam bourbon, that is probably responsible for the majority of Jim Beam’s global sales. The black label, which we’re trying today, is aged longer (7 years vs. 4 years) and has a higher proof (90 vs. 80). Let’s see what Jim Beam himself has to say about it:

“Something magical happens to the whiskey in its seventh year in cask. We call it the sweet spot, where an easy smoothness meets notes of caramel, vanilla, and warm oak, and the liquid turns a rich gold. 

This is the mellow whiskey you’ll find in the 7 year aged Jim Beam Black. We’re proud of this longer time in cask, and we’re making a firm commitment to our drinkers to always age Jim Beam Black for those seven years. 

Now at 90-proof, enjoy Jim Beam Black neat, on the rocks, or any way you damn please.”

Overlooking the gratuitous “any way you damn please” (which, if it were me, I would write as “any damn way you please”), I do think they make a good case for the extra aging. So let’s pour our sample and see if something magical really does happen.

Appearance: It’s exactly the color of Rapunzel’s “splendid long hair, as fine as spun gold.”

Aroma: It’s kind of like the smell of vanilla extract–the real stuff, not McCormick’s fake “vanillin” stuff that your mom used for baking, but the real stuff from actual vanilla beans. I say this because I don’t detect the sharp whiff of alcohol you get from those artificial vanillas and from younger bourbons. There’s also a hint of caramel.

Taste: This stuff is delicious! No wonder the majority of the world’s population drinks it for breakfast (or whatever the claim was that I cited at the top of this post). The taste is rich–creamy and high-viscosity and full–and bold, without being overpowering. I taste caramel and spice and brown sugar. It all comes together in a very balanced way.

Finish: There’s a bit of hot alcohol on the finish, which perhaps it to be expected from a 90-proof spirit. But each sip leaves you wanting more.

Bottom Line: This stuff would make a good sipping whiskey, to be next to the fireplace while waiting for Santa during this Advent season. I guess I do believe in magic after all.