2026 Oktoberfest Pretzels

Pretzel #18: An Epiphany

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The Market On Main, Placerville, CA

Today I had an epiphany. I don’t mean the Epiphany, as when the Wise Men encountered baby Jesus. For starters, that Epiphany is celebrated on January 6…a date that in recent years has taken on somewhat more sinister connotations.

No, I’m talking about a more run-of-the-mill epiphany, whereby I realized a profound truth. Are you ready to hear it? Get out your notebook and lick your pencil point (if you’ll pardon the expression). Are you sitting down? OK, here’s my big realization:

The physical world around us was created by many different people who didn’t much coordinate their actions.

OK, I know that doesn’t seem very profound. But ruminate on this for a minute. The house you live in, the neighbor’s house that you have to look at every day while you putter in your garden, the coffee shop where you get your cappuccino, the park where you walk your dog, the Quick Quack where you wash your car, the donut place where you get crullers every Saturday, the road you take to get there…all this built environment was created over many years by many different people (or groups of people) with very different motivations and intentions and senses of aesthetics and function. Sure, you might live in a so-called “planned community” like most of Irvine, CA or maybe Moscow. But even then, your little piece of the world grew out of many decisions and motivations and actions that have nothing to do with you. Pretty much the most we can do to match our surrounding to our tastes is to move somewhere that feels right for us. But even then, we are in the debt of those who came before.

I was thinking about all this because I was looking for a local pretzel (as one does), and Google told me to check out a place called The Market on Main in Placerville. I’ve visited Placerville’s Main Street many, many times, but I don’t remember anything called Market on Main. So I followed Google’s directions and found myself in front of a tidy clapboard building with a wrap-around porch and bright umbrellas.

Photo from Facebook.

I must have walked by or driven past this place many times, but it never made an impression on me. I guess it’s kind of the reverse of déjà vu. It turns out the building, which is called the J. Wonderly House, dates back to the Gold Rush. It’s been a private home, various types of stores, and now it’s a restaurant. It seemed inviting enough, so I went up the walk and entered the place.

I ended up speaking with the owners, Charissa and Anthony De Leon, who opened the place four years ago. And this is when I was struck by my epiphany. Had they not been willing to quit their jobs and put a bunch of money into this building–just before Covid shut things down, by the way–this building would still be a yarn store. And if earlier owners hadn’t gotten involved, it would still be a blacksmith’s house.

Lots of change, c/o lots of individuals.

My point is that we all benefit (or, to be sure, sometimes are harmed) by investments and construction projects of our fellow citizens. And that also means that others are affected by what we do. All of which has me thinking I should really re-paint my house….

So God bless the small business owners, the neighborhood clean-up volunteers, the family with the huge display of Halloween decorations in the front yard, and the others who are creating our communities.

But to get back to my pretzel mission: The Market On Main does indeed have a soft pretzel, so I ordered one. It turns out they get them from a Milwaukee-based (!) company, because, according to Charissa, none of the local options were acceptable. I’m coming to understand that making your pretzels is a pretty tall order for a small restaurant, and I’m even coming to accept it. But I was disappointed to hear that Market on Main neither makes nor serves beer cheese with their pretzels. This, to me, is like not serving ketchup with French fries. As an alternative, they offered me “queso,” which of course is simply the Spanish word for cheese. But in Tex-Mex cuisine I understand it’s essentially a melted cheese dip, which, I suppose, could be considered analogous to beer cheese, but without the beer. Throwing caution to the wind, I took the queso.

The pretzel arrived with the promised queso (which to me looked kind of colorless and thus not promising) as well as some bright-yellow French’s mustard which I promptly tossed in the garbage. I took a bite of the pretzel without queso, and I thought it was a little bready. Not bad, but just a little puffy. The taste was slightly sweet, and there was definite maltiness on the finish.

Then I tried it with queso.

Friends, I’m a man who’s willing to admit he was wrong. And I was wrong to turn up my nose at the idea of queso as a substitute for beer cheese. This stuff was magical. It was rich and warm and creamy. What’s more, it complemented the pretzel perfectly. The saltiness of the queso balanced the sweetness of the pretzel. More importantly, the queso’s creaminess neutralized the breadiness of the pretzel, creating a combined mouthfeel that was chewy, warm, and satisfying. I must even admit that I sopped up every last bit of that queso; I even found myself wishing there had been a little more.

I’m not sure I’m willing to say that queso is superior to beer cheese. I still missed that beery flavor that really leverages the malt in the pretzel. But I do feel that queso is a damn good substitute, and perhaps it was the perfect complement for this particular, Milwaukee-based pretzel.

4.5 stars, which probably could have been 5 stars with a little beer in the mixture.

PS: If you find yourself in Placerville, you really need to check out Market on Main. Even if you’re not looking for a pretzel, this place has a great vibe, awesome staff, and great attention to their food.

PRETZEL TRIVIA

Every couple of months my brother and I get together to grab a bite and watch an old movie at the historic Tower theater in Sacramento. (Readers of a certain age might remember the international music juggernaut called Tower Records; it all started here at the Tower drugstore, attached to the Tower Theater, in 1960.)

Being Boilards, my brother and I invariably follow the same routine: We get a sandwich at Togo’s at precisely 5:50 pm, then watch a 1960’s-era movie at the Tower at 7 pm. We always sit in the same seats.

What I want to call your attention to is Togo’s. This west coast-based chain is widely understood to have one of the best hot pastrami sandwiches on the market–juicy, reasonably lean, with a perfect mix of veggies and sauces. But in 2018, they introduced a new version of this classic: the Pretzelrami.

It’s essentially the same sandwich, but on a pretzel bun. Now, I think one could argue about whether this is truly a “pretzel” bun or not. For starters, it doesn’t have the classic pretzel shape. The texture is also off, as it’s much more bready than a true pretzel. But the ingredients are similar and the dough is exposed to an alkaline bath prior to baking, so it ends up with a lot of the pretzel flavor. So let’s say that the bun is pretzelish.

Anyway, I’m a sucker for this sandwich (#71 on Togo’s menu, if you’re interested) which to me is the ideal sandwich: hot, filling, flavorful, juicy, and 840 calories (I’m not making this up). I was ordering it every time I went into Togos. Then, around 2022, they discontinued it without explanation. The sandwich makers at Togo’s were still wearing the T-shirts that said “Pretzelrami!”, but when I asked about it they just shrugged and said “it’s an old shirt.” I cannot express my disappointment at having to switch back to the regular old hot pastrami sandwich (#9).

And then, a miracle. On June 30, 2025, Togo’s announced the return of the Pretzelrami….on an “upgraded” pretzel roll. If you live anywhere near a Togo’s, I encourage you to go out and get one before they disappear again.

2026 Oktoberfest Pretzels · Breweries

Pretzel #17: Wok This Way

steveboilard5 Comments

Great Basin Brewing Company in Carson City, NV

A little bit ago I had just returned to the United States after a brief visit to the Republic of Molossia. I had just cleared customs and was looking for some good American cooking. I’ve found that when I’m in an unfamiliar area–such as Dayton, Nevada–independent brew pubs are generally a good bet. The presence of fresh, bespoke beer is always a good foundation for any meal. On top of this, the owners of these small businesses are almost always present, ensuring quality control. Their menus are almost always innovative without being crazy, and generally center on the four basic food groups (loaded burgers, soft tacos, enormous salads, and fried appetizers).

I, of course, was looking for a pretzel. I found a place called Great Basin Brewing Company just east of Carson City, Nevada. Thankfully, the menu did indeed include a “Brewery Pretzel.” The description was a little confusing though: “Brioche pretzel twist, garlic butter, coarse salt, beer cheese.” As we all know, a brioche is kind of a cross between bread and pastry. In other words, in a whole different category than a pretzel, which is closer to a bagel than a pastry. But I was famished from my international travel, and wasn’t in a position to be choosy. I ordered the pretzel.

This photo comes from Great Basin’s website, since the photo I took was blurry. But rest assured that mine looked identical, including that cute little wok (or whatever it is).

The first thing that strikes you about this so-called pretzel is that it resembles an exclamation point without the dot at the bottom. It also resembles what you would have discovered on the sidewalks of New York before they began enforcing dog clean-up laws. Either way, Great Basin calls this a “brioche pretzel twist.” I’m not sure it works. It lacks the classic shape of a proper Bavarian pretzel made of rolled dough, and thus seems to me to be less fun to eat. Certainly it’s less familiar, thus distancing it from the category of “comfort food.”

When I bit into it, there was a bit of a pretzely crunch. But this isn’t because it had been boiled in lye; rather, it’s because it was overbaked. Indeed, this pretzel (if I can call it that) was almost (but not quite) burnt. More damningly, it lacked that chewy texture that’s the whole point of a soft pretzel. This pretzel was really just a misshapen loaf of bread. Further, the distribution of salt on my pretzel (but not on the pretzel in the photo above) was horribly uneven. A couple of patches were way oversalted, alongside entirely bare patches. It’s the pretzel version of eczema.

But just when it seems that this is a total loss, you encounter the amazing beer cheese. It’s extremely cheddary, with rich flavor and a slight taste of beer in the background. This beer cheese was so good that I finished it off with my finger after the pretzel was long gone. Oh, and it comes in a cool little wok(?) that I would have slipped into my pocket if the server hadn’t been keeping such a close eye on me.

I learned that the pretzel (as we’ve now come to expect) was not made in house. Rather, it comes from Liberty Food and Wine Exchange, which, so far as I can tell, is a legit restaurant in the Reno area. So the pretzels do not come from some soulless restaurant supplier like Sysco. Happily, the beer cheese in made in-house, which, as we’re coming to learn, is generally a guarantee of quality.

Once again I have to give a middle score to this dish, with a pretzel I don’t understand and beer cheese that is the stuff of fantasies. 3 stars.

PRETZEL TRIVIA

Surely you know the storied musical group Steely Dan. At the very least, you’ve heard some of their hits like “Do It Again” or “Reelin’ In the Years.” They exploded onto the scene in 1972, and somehow both captured the Zeitgeist and influenced it. Steely Dan were jazz-influenced musical perfectionists, and it’s a bit XX that so many of their songs are now considered Easy Listening.

Steely Dan’s third studio album was released in 1974. Unless you’re a fan, the only song from that album you’ve probably heard is “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number.” But the album spent 36 weeks on the Billboard 200, and managed to rise to #8. The critical reception was generally good. Creem wrote “The music can be called jazzy without implying an insult, and Donald Fagen and Walter Becker are the real world’s answer to Robert Hunter and Jerry Garcia [of the Grateful Dead].” On the other hand, Stereo Review’s critic wrote “the lyrics baffle me; maybe they know what they’re talking about, but I can’t get a clue.”

According to the book Steely Dan FAQ, the group struggled with coming up a title for this album. They wanted the title to convey “the seedy, sexual side of life,” but couldn’t agree on specific wording. So they settled on using the title of one of the tracks to name the album. And that track was–drumroll please–“Pretzel Logic.”

Ah, the days of 15-cent pretzels. Or “pretzles,” at least.

The album cover photo was taken by celebrity photographer Raeanne Rubenstein, on the west side of Fifth Avenue at 79th Street. It’s said the vendor in the photo refused to sign a release for the photo to be used, but the label’s executives discovered that the vendor was operating without a license, and figured he wouldn’t dare get enmeshed in any legal action. So they slapped the photo on the album cover, and there were no repercussions.

2026 Oktoberfest Pretzels

Pretzel #16: For Whom the Pretzel Tolls

steveboilard1 Comment

Thirsty Barrel Taphouse in Grass Valley, CA

Grass Valley (pop: 15,000) is a city in Nevada County…which, of course, is in California. Meanwhile, there is a town called California in the state of Pennsylvania. I live in a town called Placerville, which you might think is the county seat of Placer County. But you’d be wrong; Placerville resides in El Dorado County. So surely El Dorado Hills is the county seat of El Dorado County? No, Placerville is the county seat. To make matters more confusing, there is a Placerville, CO as well as a Placerville, CA. I wrote about this in a recent blog.

Anyway, despite all this appellative confusion, the Missus and I recently drove up to Grass Valley (California, in Nevada County) to celebrate our anniversary. As she puts it, we were celebrating 100 years of marriage. Or so it seems.

We stayed at the historic Holbrooke Hotel, which dates back to 1862. Many characters from history have stayed there, including Mark Twain (who actually stayed in our very room), Black Bart, U.S. Grant, James Garfield, Grover Cleveland, etc, etc.

As you might imagine, the place is said to be haunted. (Supposed proof can be found in the April 2016 episode of The Travel Channel’s “The Dead Files.”) And while I didn’t experience any paranormal activity, Karen reports she heard the sound of “an old man snoring” in the middle of the night…

To tell the truth, there’s something about staying in any hotel that can be a little unsettling. I remember a recent (February 2020) episode of the podcast “Stuff You Should Know,” and they looked into the urban legend about a couple checking into a hotel room, and in the middle of the night they notice an odd smell…and eventually discover a decomposing body under their bed. This, according to the SYSK podcast, is a real thing, and has happened more times than you’d want to think. This is why the first thing I do when I check into a hotel is check under the bed.

And more recently, the same podcast hosts discussed a 2013 incident at the 100-year-old Cecil Hotel in downtown Los Angeles. I’ll let you track down the details for yourself, but the upshot is that people staying at the hotel began complaining about an odd smell and taste in the tap water, which led to the discovery of a decomposing body in the water tank at the top of the 19-floor hotel. Surely that’s even worse than discovering a corpse under your bed.

So, anyway, Karen and I check in to the Holbrooke in Grass Valley, and after looking under the bed and performing water chemistry tests on the tap water, it’s time to get some lunch. Being the incurable romantic that I am, I suggested we hit the Thirsty Barrel Taphouse, whose menu just happens to include something called the Twisted Ale Pretzel (“Large Soft Baked Pretzel Served w/ House Made Beer Cheese Dip”). (I think I’ve finally learned to decode these descriptions. The “house made” dip is presumably made in the restaurant itself, but it also probably means that the pretzel is not made in-house.)

I’ve also learned that by “large” they mean “small.” I mean, this pretzel is tiny. It’s barely the size of the cup of beer cheese.

Anyway, because I’m a professional, I soldiered on with my review. The flavor and mouthfeel of the pretzel were pretty good, but the scarcity of salt left it tasting a little flat. Notably, it also lacked the “nooks and crannies” of a proper, artisan pretzel. Finally, it seemed a little tough, texture-wise. I’m guessing this arrived at the restaurant frozen, and was subsequently baked in an oven. Whether that’s a convection oven or a microwave is not clear.

The beer cheese was basic but with a slightly odd flavor note. There was something unexpected about the taste….perhaps akin to the tap water at the Hotel Cecil. In any event, the beer cheese wasn’t enough to save this pretzel.

Overall, this is the McDonalds burger of pretzels: pre-fab, approachable by the vast majority of consumers, but unremarkable. This would get it 2.5 stars, but the small size knocks off a half point.

Two stars.

PRETZEL TRIVIA

I admire the hell out of young artists who put their work out there for the world to see, unfettered by their paucity of experience or lack of bona fides. I’m thinking specifically of Adam Weiss, the director and producer of a very short (<5 minute) film called Pretzel Brothers.

I could attempt to describe Pretzel Brothers, but given that you can watch the whole thing in 4 minutes and change, just click on the link below:

I love everything about this short: The solemn aspirations on a $10 budget, the barely-contained deadpan delivery by young student actors, the impressive understanding of movie memes, the self-mockery, the serviceable “score” (if I can call it that). This is light years beyond the Star Trek movie that my brother and I and my friend Detlef made in high school.

Anyway, as far as I can tell, this is the only movie where pretzels figure into both the title and the plot. And that’s why I’m sharing it with you today.

And for what it’s worth, Director Adam Weiss was about 7 years out of his MBA at Laney College when he made this movie. Today, according to his LinkedIn page, he is a “District Operations Manager” at All Day Kitchens, “responsible for helping build and run operations for multiple units and different verticals- specializing in delivery technology. Proud to be helping local food brands grow.” So maybe he’s still connected with the pretzel business?

2026 Oktoberfest Pretzels

Pretzel #15: Man Bites Dog

steveboilard2 Comments

El Dorado Saloon and Grill, El Dorado Hills, CA

Man holding pretzel and biting dog tail

[Rant mode: ON]

I’ve noticed that YouTube is really upping the number of ads I must endure while watching a video or even searching for one. Evidently they’re trying to make the experience so unpleasant that I’ll sign up for “YouTube Premium” (about $250 per year through the Apple app).

Now, in theory, I would pay a few bucks for a YouTube subscription that is truly ad-free. But here’s the rub: the firewalls of these “ad-free” experiences invariably break down. I mean, look at PBS. When it started out, you never saw ads. Then the “underwriter” announcements crept in, then began to take the shape of commercials, until now you really can’t tell the difference between PBS and commercial television. Same thing with cable, which didn’t originally have ads because you were paying directly for the service. But now cable (or even your modern streaming service) inundates you with commercials. And of course movie theaters have gotten in on the act –I pay my twelve bucks or whatever it costs to see a movie, and I expect that I’ve bought the right to view it without distractions. But then they spend the first 15 minutes showing us Coca Cola ads and trailers for upcoming films (i.e., commercials). I can’t even pump a tank of gas–at a cost that approaches the per-capita income of some developing countries–without having to watch a commercial play out on the pump’s screen.

And I have tried paying the ransom to avoid ads. I purchased a year’s subscription to the “ad-free” version of one of my favorite podcasts, but within a few weeks my “ad-free” episodes began to regularly include pitches for me to upgrade to the “plus” version with extended interviews–in other words, commercials.

I’ve been thinking about all this because I happened to be driving by the El Dorado Saloon in El Dorado Hills, CA. Just the other day this place had been recommended to my by loyal reader Bill B, as a source of Bavarian pretzels and beer cheese. So I stopped and took a seat on their patio, which was bathed in loud but inoffensive country music…but every five minutes the music was interrupted with a commercial. I ask you: Isn’t the ambiance of a restaurant part of what you’re paying for? And if so, shouldn’t that shield me from exposure to unwanted ads for PetSmart?

[Rant mode: OFF]

Anyway, there I was at the El Dorado Saloon, sitting on the deck in the most perfect fall weather, and I ordered up their “Hot Pretzels.” The menu describes the dish as “Two large hot pretzels with a side of beer cheese sauce.” A little generic, but what the heck? I went for it.

The pretzels arrived at my table immediately, suggesting that they had been quickly thawed out. This theory is supported by their appearance: two identical, medium-sized pretzels of uniform shape, and entirely devoid of cracking or kneading or any other signs of handling by a human. These are clearly mass-produced and quickly heated straight from the freezer. A little butter may have been brushed on for color.

So much for the appearance. Next came the taste test. I tried a bite of pretzel without any sauce. It had all the flavor and excitement of pencil shavings. Seriously. This was as bland as a holiday card from your local real estate agent.

But then I tried the beer cheese. I fell immediately in love. Where have you been all my life? This is the apotheosis of beer cheese, with equal parts cheddar and IPA. The presence of beer is so pronounced that it probably requires its own ABV notice. There’s also a bit of a spicy kick, which resolves into a slow burn after a bites.

This is hands down the best beer cheese I’ve tasted since I began this project. I literally licked the cup clean.

After my meal my server disclosed that the pretzels are delivered from Sysco, which should come as no surprise. But he also confirmed that the beer cheese is house-made. And it shows. So even though the pretzel was a disappointment, I give the dish 2.5 stars, earned entirely from the beer cheese.

PRETZEL TRIVIA

Attentive readers will recall that I once drove through the town of Freeport, Illinois, whose high school baseball team is called the Freeport Pretzels.

And that raises the question: How many pretzel brands have their own mascots? Think hard. Do you remember any?

The one that comes immediately to mind for me is Mister Salty, the mascot of Nabisco’s eponymous pretzel brand. Does this ring a bell?

Mister Salty was conceived in 1966, and I can state from experience that these were the saltiest, blood-pressure-raisingest, tongue-dissolvingest pretzels on the market. I mean, just look at them! Their surface area is strewn with enormous chunks of sodium chloride. And then there’s Mister Salty himself, with his bad case of measles or hives or whatever that is all over his body. These things were salt porn. No one knows for sure how much salt they contained, because they were discontinued about the time nutrition labeling laws came into being. But suffice it so say that, far from downplaying their sodium content, Mister Salty pretzels positively reveled in it. After all, this was the era of Sugar Smacks and menthol cigarettes.

The only other pretzel mascot I could find is “Twistee,” who represents Auntie Anne’s. I can’t figure this guy out. He’s blue, wears enormous clown-shoes, and has a peace sign for a face. Does any of this evoke a pretzel? This is something out of a bad trip.

If you’re aware of any other pretzel mascots, please comment below!

2026 Oktoberfest Pretzels

Pretzel #13: Chop Wood, Carry Water

steveboilard1 Comment

Boring Rose Brewing Company, El Dorado Hills, CA

When I was at Poe Fest the other week, I found myself talking to the author of book called The Zen Time Traveler. According to him (and I may be garbling this), a key precept of Zen is that the present is the only reality we ever experience. The past is done with, and the future does not exist. There is only the present. Hence, all the admonitions about “mindfulness” and “living in the present.”

That makes logical sense to me, but I have a heck of a time keeping my focus on the present moment. One of my greatest pleasures is crossing things off my to-do list, reveling in the sense of accomplishment that comes from having cleaned out the cats’ litter box. I also dedicate considerable mental bandwidth to next week’s calendar items, anticipating my next trip for this blog.

So I’m trying to reform myself a bit. Not that I’m about to become a Zen master, but I am trying to carpe my diem. And so yesterday, on a perfect fall day, I made a concerted effort “live in the moment” and take a drive in the convertible with the Missus to enjoy a lunch at a nice outdoor spot next to the “lake” (which is actually a pond) at the El Dorado Hills Town Center.

The place is called Boring Rose Brewing Company. The name is not a reference to a tedious flower, but rather it combines the surnames of two families–the Borings and the Roses–that own the restaurant. (Imagine going through middle school with a name like Boring. It reminds me of this Monty Python sketch):

Anyway, I ordered up a Soft Pretzel (“hand-twisted, hot and salted; served with beer cheese sauce & mustard”). Karen had a bite and proclaimed it “not bad.” My review is a bit more mixed. The pretzel presented reasonably well. It is obviously “hand twisted,” showing no uniformity of shape whatsoever. I’d say it appeared “artisan,” in the same way that an ugly, misshapen tomato appears “heirloom.”

The outside was pleasantly crispy while the inside was soft (though perhaps a bit too bready). The photo below really shows off the perfect crust.

Salt distribution was fine, flavor was fine, size was fine. I’d say the pretzel was a solid 4 stars. But then there’s the beer cheese. I think we’re learning that beer cheese is where many pretzels go wrong. This so-called “beer cheese” was clearly nacho cheese sauce. Seriously; I think they’re misrepresenting their condiments. There was no beer taste at all. And it had that giveaway velveeta-like consistency.

Oh, and then I asked the owner (I don’t know if he was Mr Boring or Mr Rose) if he made his own pretzels. He cast a rueful look toward a small counter with a small stove and a few cooking utensils. “We have to get our pretzels from the outside. I just don’t have room to make them here.” It reminded me of that great scene from Tim Burton’s first Batman movie, when the back-alley surgeon apologizes for the way Joker’s face turns out, owing to his squalid operating room. “You see what I have to work with here!”

So the weighted total score for this pretzel clocks in at 3 stars. Though I must admit that the setting (and of course the company) were lovely, and I found myself “living in the moment” for most of the lunch hour.

PRETZEL TRIVIA

Even though the past doesn’t really exist, think back to 2017. The year opened with a sad, empty space in the panoply of emojis. For at that time there was no pretzel emoji.

Two students at Brown University decided to correct this oversight. Justin Bai and Maksymilian Dabkowski submitted a paper to the Unicode Consortium (a Mountain View-based nonprofit that somehow gets to decide these things), arguing that a pretzel emoji was desperately needed. Let’s read a few excerpts of their appeal:

The pretzel, a timeless and widely appreciated baked food, has emotional and cultural significance for a lot of people across the world, especially in Europe and America. The pretzel emoji has a potential for versatile usage due its unique looped shape which can be reinterpreted to stand for many things.

We expect the usage level [of the pretzel emoji] to be fairly high. “Pretzel” is more frequently searched on Google than many other baked goods that are emojis—for example, “shortcake.”

[The pretzel emoji] can be used to signify convolutedness, confusion, or twistedness due to its unique knotted twist shape. Its topological structure stands, therefore, for something more abstract than the food item itself.

Interestingly, this was the artwork they proposed for a pretzel emoji:

Doesn’t this kind of look like a long, twisted French fry?

The rest, as they (excluding Zen Buddhists) say, is history. The Consortium accepted the proposal, and the pretzel emoji was added to Emoji 5.0 in 2017. They did tweak the image a bit though. While I think it’s an improvement over the twisted French fry proposed by Dabkowski and Bai, the final version looks to me like it was drawn by Lego designers.

Clearly the artist doesn’t understand how to knot a pretzel.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go meditate on the present.