Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Donut

October 22, 2024 steveboilard2 Comments

What is it about spiders and Halloween? I mean, there’s nothing inherently spooky about them. And most of them are completely harmless and tiny. And yet, they’ve become a Halloween staple.

*Well, sure–when they’re eight feet across, they’re a little creepy.*

There’s also something called the Marbled Orbweaver (Araneus marmoreus) which is informally known as the “Halloween Spider.” Not only does it have a skull-like body, it’s also venomous. So it’s earned its name.

And I get that arachnophobia is a thing. So, upon reflection, I guess spiders have a legit association with Halloween.

*Even Indiana Jones got a little grossed out.*

This is all top of mind because I paid another visit the recently-opened Baskin-Robbins/Dunkin’ store.

This time I asked for a Halloween treat from the donut side of the shop, and the young woman immediately pointed out the spider donuts. “I’ll take it,” said I. “Just one?” she asked. “Isn’t that enough?” I responded, noting each one carries 330 calories. Her:

If this doesn’t make sense, re-read yesterday’s blog entry.

So, let’s get down to business!

(NOTE: Dunkin’ introduced the Spider Donut in 2020, and I reviewed it in October of that year. Back then, the spider sat on an orange base; this year it’s purple. So that difference is my excuse for reviewing it again.)

Conceptual Soundness: We’ve already established, above, that spiders are an acceptable Halloween meme. And the good folks at Dunkin decided to create a spider out of their donuts. It’s a cartoonish version of a spider which is fun and lighthearted, and it sits on an iced donut. The whole thing is edible and easily transportable. It’s a sound concept indeed. 4 points.

Appearance of the Treat: This is “cute as all get-out,” as my aunt used to say. It’s a cake donut with a spooky dark-purple icing. Plopped on top of the center of the donut is a chocolate, glazed “donut hole” with two big globby eyes made out of white icing. Eight “legs” of chocolate icing sprout from the donut hole and drape over the ring donut. It’s clever and creative and cute. An easy 4 points for appearance.

Taste: Often these kinds of gimmicky shapes don’t actually taste that good. This is an exception. The purple icing seems to have a blueberry flavor (but that might just be the power of suggestion). The chocolate donut hole was at risk of being a little dry, but the glaze saved it. It tasted fresh and sweet (but not too sweet), and the amount of donut (about 1.25 standard donuts) was just right. I liked the taste, though I didn’t love it. Let’s give it 3 points.

Value: This guy costs $2.75 (or, 275 spidey-cents). (Ha!) Given the extra labor to decorate the donut, plus the fact that you’re getting both a donut and a donut hole, that seems like a decent price. Especially if you compare it to the scoop of ice cream on the B-R side of the shop that will cost you five bucks. 3 points sounds fair. (Note: When I reviewed the spider donut in 2020 it was only $1.49; those were the days…)

Total Treat Score: 14 points out of 16 points, which if that isn’t our high score it’s close! Log onto the “web” to find your nearest Dunkin, and then take a “spin” down there!

House of Wax

October 20, 2024 steveboilardLeave a comment

So, I was talking to Vincent Price’s daughter the other day…

I just couldn’t resist the name-check, though of course I’m simply referring to Poe Fest in Baltimore, where I managed to corner her for a few minutes.

Anyway, as attentive readers will recall, Victoria Price introduced her father’s 1964 Edgar Allan Poe flick, “The Masque of the Red Death,” at Poe Fest. I can’t say I was overly impressed with the movie, which I found to be lurid, garish, and unsettling. Don’t get me wrong: in general I love Vincent Price and his movies. I just had some uneasiness about “The Masque.”

Then, just a couple of days ago, dedicated reader Sherrill J. tipped me off that Vincent Price’s 1953 classic “House of Wax” was showing last night on MeTV. Now this was a whole different story.

First of all, many movies from the 1950s had an earnestness about them. Color was just becoming a thing, and the Hays code was in full force, simultaneously opening new opportunities and imposing guardrails on filmmakers. Directors and producers had to be clever and innovative to make use of the opportunities and hew to the constraints.

“House of Wax” did a pretty good job of that duality. It’s not a great movie, but it’s atmospheric and entertaining and offers a few fun surprises. But what really pushed the MeTV offering into worthwhile nostalgia was that it was hosted by Svengoolie. For those unfortunate souls among you who are not familiar with him, Svengoolie is a campy, corny “horror host” who follows in the footsteps of the late Bob Wilkins, Elvira, Count Frightenstein, Mr. Lobo, and others. In fact, it’s probably not exactly correct to say that Svengoolie “follows” in their footsteps, since he’s been at it since 1979!

Svengoolie at his “best.”

Speaking of wax: Let’s talk about today’s cocktail! It’s something called “Bite of the Vampire,” and it combines good champagne (the wife scolded me for using the last bottle of Roederer) with Aperol and the contents of one of those little wax bottles you used to get in your Halloween haul. Remember?

*The wax fangs will be explained in a moment.*

Conceptual Soundness: OK, it’s a reddish drink named “Vampire Bite.” That’s a good start. The addition of the Nik-L-Nip contents is interesting, as it connects this drink to Boomer Halloween Nostalgia. And as the pièce de résistance, they have you affix wax fangs to the rim of the glass. I’d say that’s a solid, focused, concept. 4 points.

Appearance: Well, it’s not the blood-red I would have expected from a “Vampire Bite” cocktail. But at least it’s in the general range of reddish. And the wax fangs are a nice touch, connecting both the “vampire” concept and the wax Halloween treat nostalgia. Let’s give it 3 points.

Taste: This isn’t a sophisticated drink. But it’s nostalgic and fun. The artificially-sweetened syrup from the wax bottle really gives it a unique zing. It shows up as a syrupy sweet finish to what would otherwise be an Aperol Spritz. The taste reminds me of a cherry Slurpee, which I used to down regularly in the 1970s. But it’s not too sweet. Although you hardly notice the champagne, it’s doing its job of balancing the wax-bottle syrup. I enjoyed drinking this, and I’ll give it 3.5 points.

*Once you finish the drink, you get to annoy your family members with the wax lips.*

Ease of Preparation: It’s easy to make. Hopefully you have champagne and Aperol on hand. The wax bottles and fangs will obviously require a special trip. I found mine at T.W. Bonkers Toy and Candy Emporium in Placerville. I’m sure you could find them on Amazon as well. But sure, it’s going to be a bit of work to assemble the nostalgia components. Let’s give it 2 points for ease of preparation.

MAIL BAG

Faithful Reader Sara S shared this Candy Corn cartoon from the New Yorker, which riffs on a theme this blog presented in our 2002 treat review.

Tomorrow we start our review of Halloween donuts and ice cream!!

2024 Halloween treats · Breweries · California history · cemeteries · Halloween · Puns

Ossuaries

October 19, 2024October 19, 2024 steveboilard2 Comments

Just over a year ago the Missus and I visited the town of Evora in Portugal. One particular vision from that trip is seared into my memory: the Capela dos Ossos (Chapel of the Bones). It’s a small, 16th-century chapel that adjoins the Church of St Francis, and its interior walls and ceiling are decorated (if that’s the word) with the bones from about 5,000 corpses. It’s said that the Franciscan friars built the chapel using exhumed skeletons from local cemeteries.

This is what you’d call an ossuary–a building or container that holds skeletal remains. Why did the friars put the bones on display rather than burying them? The answer, I think, is found in a poem that hangs within the chapel. It’s attributed to the village priest, Fr. António da Ascenção Teles, and here’s an English translation:

Where are you going in such a hurry, traveler?
Pause…do not advance your travel.
You have no greater concern than this one:
That which is now before your eyes.

Recall how many have passed from this world,
Reflect on your similar end.
There is good reason to do so;
If only all did the same.

Ponder, you so influenced by fate,
Among the many concerns of the world,
So little do you reflect on death.

If by chance you glance at this place,
Stop … for the sake of your journey,
The longer you pause, the further on your journey you will be.

Today I visited another ossuary of sorts: Placerville Union Cemetery. The cemetery was founded in 1871, and is said to be haunted. (But what graveyard isn’t said to be haunted?) Notable (to me at least) is that the cemetery’s arched gateway was designed and constructed by the same guy who designed and constructed the one at my property.

This morning the cemetery grounds were haunted by actors portraying key historical figures from the region. I watched a performance by Dan Trainor who portrayed Sheriff James Madison Anderson. Sheriff Anderson had unsuccessfully tried to halt Placerville’s last hangings in 1889. It’s a gut-wrenching story, as Sheriff Madison ultimately was obligated to pull the lever that executed two men he’d come to respect. (To this day Placerville continues to embrace its official nickname “Old Hangtown”.)

*Dan and Cheryl Trainor, as Sheriff Anderson and his good wife.*

*Sheriff Anderson’s final resting place, just yards from Dan’s re-enactment.*

While I was watching Dan’s performance, I was standing near a stone that caught my interest. The Blair family emigrated to El Dorado County from Scotland in 1882, and their descendants continue to live in the area. Jennie Blair, next to whose marker I was standing, lived a full century that bridged many different eras in Placerville.

*Born before the Statue of Liberty; lived to experience disco.*

But let’s get back to Ossuaries. Look what I found at the local liquor store:

*Containing the mortal remains of myriad hops and barleycorns.*

I’d never heard of Ghost Town Brewing before, but evidently it’s a popular brewery in west Oakland, California. The name “Ghost Town” is supposedly an old nickname for the brewery’s neighborhood, which ages ago hosted two coffin manufacturing operations. It’s claimed the brewery itself resides in one of those coffin plants, but details are sketchy. Still, you have to admit this is a promising backstory for a Halloween libation review. You can read more about Ghost Town Brewing, and how it was founded by a metal band as their side hustle, here.

But for now, let’s see how this stacks up on our Treat Template (TM).

Conceptual Soundness: As noted above, Ghost Town Brewing has a spooky backstory, and all their beers are named and packaged to tap into (ha!) that same vibe. The main concept here is to make a “robust porter” — that is, somewhat darker, more flavorful, or more potent than your average porter. Recognizing that Ghost Town’s jam seems to be graveyards/coffins/death and dare I say the underworld, it seems they’ve reverse-engineered the ABV of this porter to match their spooky vibe:

And in case the name “Ossuary” and the “666” don’t get the message across, they emblazon the can with a photo that may well have been taken from that ossuary in Evora that I featured at the top of this post.

Overall, it’s a sound (albeit simple) concept: Make a robust porter and surround it with dark imagery. 4 points. (I’m sure this score is influenced by the fact that, as a rule, I like porters.)

Appearance: Like most porters, it’s dark brown with a respectable tan head. It’s shot through with a bit a ruby-gold. It presents as a very solid and meaty drink for a cold October night. Coupled with the graphics on the can, I think this has earned an appearance score somewhere between 3 and 4 points. Let’s give it 3.5 points.

Taste: This beer has a complex range of tastes. It’s very malty, as expected, and the hop bitterness is reined in, as you’d expect from a porter. But swirl it over your tongue and you catch hints of Peet’s coffee, graham crackers, dark chocolate, mild pipe tobacco, burned pizza crust, and fennel. Notwithstanding the 16-oz container, this is a beer meant for sipping. You want to savory the flavors; pairing it with some strong cheese, I imagine, would really help bring out those flavors. This is delicious. This is 4 points.

Value: A four-pack set me back 20 bucks. That’s five dollars a beer, which is on the steep end. I might expect that for an imperial stout, but at “6.66%” ABV, this can’t really justify such a high price point. I give it 2 points.

Total Treat Score: 13.5 points. Highly recommend you drink one on the next dark and stormy night. Or as you watch this 1970 short film:

MAIL BAG

Loyal reader Katelyn P shared this video in reference to my Oct 1 post about Starbucks’ Raccoon Pop:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Peanut the blind raccoon (@peanut_the_raccoon)

Would this qualify as cannibalism?

2024 Halloween treats · Halloween · Puns

It’s Easy Being Green

October 13, 2024 steveboilard1 Comment

Today’s Halloween-themed spotting is at the home of son Ian and daughter-in-law Katelyn. It’s a 12-foot skeleton that makes even me feel short. Note his smaller companions lounging on the porch. What, that’s not scary enough for you? Then check out the scene at night:

*Even more spooky: The skeletons on the porch have fleshed out!*

Note how the scene becomes spookier with the addition of unexpected color–in this case, the red and blue light that washes over the whole scene.

The folks at Mars, Inc. seem to understand this principle, and have applied it to the inveterate Snickers bar. Specifically, in an effort to dress up the candy bar for Halloween, they have changed the color of the nougat from light tan to “ghoulish green.” Let’s determine whether this is a trick or a treat.

Conceptual Soundness: Many food purveyors will try to goose sales by giving their product a holiday tweak. Examples include red and green M&Ms, green beer, and eggnog ice cream. Such moves are intended to renew interest in the product and create a sense of ephemeral exlusivity. In this case, Mars has taken a classic candy bar that everyone knows well, and added green food coloring to the nougat. It’s definitely different and does radiate a bit of a Halloween vibe. That’s worth 3 points.

Appearance of the Treat: The most noticeable difference is the green wrapper. And in case you’re colorblind, they print the words “Ghoulish Green” just under the traditional Snickers logo. Now, I’m not sure there’s anything “ghoulish” about green. I assume the word choice had more to do with alliteration.

If you remove the wrapper, the candy bar looks identical to any other Snickers bar you’ve eaten. But bite into it (or cut it in half, as I did) and you see that the nougat is the exact same shade of green as the wrapper.

Now, these are “fun size” bars, which means they’re less than an ounce. You probably will eat it in two bites. So that leaves just those few moments between the first and second bite to admire (or even notice) the green nougat. Still, it’s novel, and the color is truly putrid. As a Halloween gag (if you’ll pardon the pun), it’s worth 3 points.

Taste: These taste exactly the same as any other Snicker’s bar. The “ghoulish green” nougat has no impact on the flavor. Now, in my opinion, the Snickers bar is a delicious candy, with the ideal balance of caramel, nougat, chocolate, and peanuts. But if you’re going to hype a candy as being redesigned for Halloween, shouldn’t you also give it a new taste? Maybe a little mint, which is suggested by the green color? Or substitute pistachios for the peanuts? The people at Mars missed a huge opportunity here. Treats sporting a different look should taste different.

Now, I should probably admit here that, to me, Halloween Oreos, with their orange filling, taste much better than regular Oreos. I realize the package says “same great taste,” and the ingredient list is identical to regular Oreos. But somehow I find the Halloween Oreos to be far tastier than the regular ones. I am open to the possibility that the visual appearance of the Halloween Oreo somehow tricks my brain into thinking I’m tasting something different. But that’s OK. As we know, the placebo effect can cause genuine health improvements in clinical trials. So, as far as I’m concerned, if I think the Halloween Oreos taste better, then they taste better.

*“Same great taste” my ass; these taste much better than the run-of-the-mill Oreos.*

Anyway, my point is simply that the “ghoulish green” Snickers do not taste any different than regular Snickers. So I can’t give them any points for taste. Zero points.

Value: The fun-size “ghoulish green” Snickers come in a bag that also includes “ghoulish green” Twix bars. You get 35 bars to a bag, which costs $12 on sale at Safeway. That works out to 35 cents per bar, which really isn’t bad. Let’s give it 3 points.

Total Treat Score: 9/16 points. If you like Snickers, then you should get yourself a bag.

Speaking of bags, our mailbag received the following item which is evocative both of The Birds and Poe:

"A Dying WIsh" · 2024 Halloween treats · Halloween

The Least Popular of the Spice Girls

October 5, 2024October 5, 2024 steveboilard2 Comments

I’ve been trying to think of way to casually mention that I was (sort of) talking to Vincent Price’s daughter last night. Something like, “As I was saying to Victoria last night over dinner…” But it would be stretching the truth too much, even for me. The fact is that the good people at Poe Fest had asked attendees to send in questions for the interviewer to ask Victoria Price at last night’s screening of her father’s movie, The Masque of the Red Death. My question was among those that were used. So, in a way, I asked her a question and she answered it.

*Victoria Price, answering my trenchant questions.*

The movie itself I can’t really recommend to anyone but a Poe or Price completist. It’s a heavily padded and reworked version of Poe’s short story, and it’s unusually lurid and garish and heavy-handed in depicting Prince Prospero’s Satan-loving heart. But it was fun nevertheless, and the event was held in an impressive space that started out as Baltimore’s Eutaw Savings Bank in 1887. And they had it all dressed up for the occasion.

I also have to give a shout-out to Stephanie, one of the attendees who dressed up as The Red Death.

*If you’ve seen the movie, then you’re impressed by the verisimilitude of this costume.*

Anyway, it was a great event and my hat’s off to the Poe Fest organizers.

But let’s move on to the Treat of the Day. And for that, Iet’s recall the Spice Girls. They were ubiquitous in the long-since-passed Clinton era. They had albums, concert tours, even movies. Did you know they were the most popular “girl group” (their term, not mine) of all time? I think of them every time I hear the term “pumpkin spice,” which to me sounds like the name of a sixth Spice Girl. You know, kind of like the fifth Beatle.

Almost exactly 21 years ago (on October 10, 2003 to be exact), Starbucks introduced the pumpkin Spice Latte (PSL). Starbucks makes a big deal about how the PSL was “invented” in their “liquid lab” in Seattle, where mad-scientist researchers ate pumpkin pie and drank espresso and tried to replicate those flavors in a drink. The PSL recipe supposedly involves actual pumpkin puree, as well as sugar, espresso, milk, and of course pumpkin spice, which they define as “a mixture of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cloves, and allspice that is commonly used in pumpkin pie.”

The PSL became an enormous hit, thanks in part to an intense marketing campaign, social media influencers, and Facebook posts. The PSL became Starbucks’ most popular seasonal beverage ever. Naturally, the soaring popularity of the PSL inspired a backlash, and today you can find plenty of haters online. The youngsters dismiss the drink as “basic,” which is about as damning as it comes.

So which is it? Is the PSL a seasonal classic that offers a fun way to immerse yourself in autumn? Or is it a soulless corporate meme that jumped the shark years ago? Chasing Phantoms decided to check it out!

Conceptual Soundness. It’s admittedly a good concept. Let’s combine the sensory experience of eating pumpkin pie with the taste and caffeine kick of espresso. What’s not to like? 4 points.

Appearance of the Treat: As with my “seasonal drink” at Dutch Bros, the PSL drops the ball by not using a festive cup. The drink looks like any other. Boring, and an obvious missed opportunity for a drink that Starbucks (and many others) consider iconic. No points.

Taste: I have to say: I don’t see what all the fuss is about. It seems to just be a latte with some sweetener. I detect a slight note of caramel, but I don’t taste any spice. Which is problematic for something called a Pumpkin Spice Latte.

The drink comes across as quite “flat.” There’s no texture, and it even seems a little watery, as though they used nonfat milk. (Note: I simply asked the barista for a pumpkin spice latte; no directions were given nor questions asked about type of milk, adding whipped cream, etc. This is the “standard” version.)

More than anything, it seemed as though something was missing. It was lacking in spice, lacking in mouthfeel, and it even seemed to be lacking in espresso. At least it wasn’t cloyingly sweet, and there are no off tastes. But overall this is a nothing burger. 1 point.

Value: I paid the odd amount of $6.84 for a grande. I know coffee is getting expensive, but that seems outrageous for such an uninteresting drink. 1 point.

Total Treat Score: 6 points.

Now it’s time for me to get back to Poe Fest. Tonight is the Big Reveal of the Saturday ‘Visiter’ Award winners! If your interested, below is a short discussion of my entry.